Category Archives: Dispatches

personal updates, thoughts, anecdotes, letters, and other missives – written for myself and sometimes for others

You are 1 in a Million, so find your doppelgängers

Frank the driver and Dave - clearly kindred
Frank the driver and Dave – clearly kindred

Got a shuttle ride to SLC airport from my twin uncle Frank (note: April 30, 2014), soon he’ll be my personal driver for crazy road trips.

Your mama always told you you are “one in 1 million” – that means there is at least 350 people just like you in the USA alone (approx 7,5000 worldwide). As such: Find your twins, build a posse, have some fun.

Slice of Guam / Micronesia / German history from WW1

Super interesting video by the (excellent) series The Great War about the Germans in Micronesia in WW1.

In brief: The Germans “colonized” Palau (and Pohnpei i believe) during the pre-war period, but when the Japanese took over their holdings, their ships were stuck without ability to re-provision,. As such, ended up in Guam (held by the then-neutral US who’d “acquired” the island during the then-recent Spanish-American war (along with Philippines and Puerto Rico)).

For a period, the US, Germans and Chamorros lived together without much incident, but when the US entered the war, the warship Cormoran was told to surrender but instead, was scuttled. The hulk now lays in Apra harbour, with the Tokai Maru (Japanese naval vessel sunk by US sub in WW2) alongside, together making a popular dive site.

{I lived on Guam and travelled to Palau, Yap etc. in early 1990s and was well familiar with WW2 history and this wreck but didn’t know the details of the back story.}

Also (from comment elsewhere):

Keep in mind, i have big heart for the Micronesian people pulled into wars with NOTHING to do with them and their interests. (Spent extended time in Guam, Saipan, Palau (my fave place on earth) and Yap.

IMO The only way to (possibly) prevent future catastrophes is to learn the fck-ups of hubris and vagaries of colonialism to then intelligently articulate the rights of peaceful people.

Note that Guam was dragged into another few erstwhile global conflict chapters of late – ergo: repopulation of bases (many of which were repatriated to locals control in mid-1990s) after US Military bad-actors repeated fcked up in Okinawa predicating mass migration of troops due to local pressure/protest, plus the sabre rattling by DPRK with threats of bombs at Andersen AFB (which i passed through almost daily for 18 months to a landlocked beach – no longer possible to do). Also worth noting: each day thousands of ROK holidaymakers come to the island so the threat wasn’t just to US interests, but also to intimidate other Koreans.

In all of the this, the locals (especially indigenous Chamorros – who vote for a US congress-rep but who is not able to vote in US congress) are further marginalized. The “spin” is it creates jobs and increases “aid” to the island.

Poetry > Phone

source of quote unknown, source of art also unknown

If folks ever wonder what I’m doing, or how I’m doing or whatever… they can figure it out through reading my poetic dispatches. To me it’s very obvious but I suppose it shrouded in mixed- metaphors, curious phrasings and obtuse examples. Though to me, poetry is one’s life distilled to core essence. Far more sincere than “catch-up chitchat“ on a phone call.

Also (vaguely related):

My journals/notebooks/scrapbooks etc. are the most precious items which I keep safe and stored (keep in mind I have very few possessions). Most all of the contents is sort of in the “code of poetry” – specifics are known only to me and someone would have to be *very* dedicated to interpret the metaphors into facts and emotions. There something in Nabakov’s Lolita which expresses similar sentiment (no creepiness intended).

“Unrest” Documentary about CFS-ME

Dave gazes at Rodin's interpretation of the Gates of Hell from Dante's Inferno
Dave gazes at Rodin’s interpretation of the Gates of Hell from Dante’s Inferno

Finally up worked nerve/courage to watch @unrestfilm – Cried & laughed + noted im not alone. So much familiar: documenting, crashing, trying *everything*, endless Drs, so much confusion/suspicion/loss. 5 years along #cfsme & #fibro. Was invincible dynamite before.

Also, was funny in the movie to see her obsessing about mold and putting up a tent (I did this), making bone broth (which I did obsessively and one of my former charges now has a bone broth company), all the supplements (which I spent so much money on!), and all the “superfood“ smoothies/drinks/concoctions… Oh, and also all the Chinese herbal remedies cooked up in a big pot making the whole house smell crazy weird.

PS Unrest the film is on Netflix, iTunes and other places.

Musing and Mediations re: Creativity (and Rebellion)

Musings and Meditations for Creativity (and Rebellion)
Musings and Meditations re: Creativity (and Rebellion)

Concerning Danger…

Danger is evidently everywhere, not always warned so plainly.

Onward, upward (poem from Deb.)

My dear counsellor – who helped me so very much when “the wheels fell off” with sickness, death, career disruption, and finding new self with advice about letting go and floating – is travelling, writing, meditating, learning, giving… all over.

She wrote this gift and sent to me.

Martha's Vineyard (by Deb)
Martha’s Vineyard (by Deb)

Onward, upward 

Let the fresh air
float away distractions, unnecessary cares.
That tendency to carry sorrows
of others, in your heart, in your bones,
need burden your spirit no more.
No sense heaving that lore.
Your best
was,
and is,
all you need deploy.
And gift
that inner critic
a swift kick,
off the gentle path,
irregardless of where it lands.
Nature’s recycling
will reliably,
re-craft it into her hummocky soup.
She handles erosion, far better than you.
Let your sweat
effuse
forgiveness, toward you, from you.
This life, these acts
weren’t meant to be perfect, wise, exact.
You’ve learnt vast
lessons
from
endless folks of your past.
Expend unwisely no more!
Instead, embody your
fortitude,
as we redwoods majestically do,
Your bod grants you a naturalness,
this
style of presence
– to exude.
Venture now,
liberated of unwarranted strife,
boldly stride,
up nature’s steps of life,
allowing
supportive connection,
when you need or like,
or when it’s most wise.
You sweet soul,
Onward, upward, lithely glide
up, up to luxuriate in the sun’s inviting light.
Retreat mediation room poetry
Multiversity 1440
Scripted by DebJoan Hall-B
March 15, 2018

Auspicious day

9 years ago today, I presented “fuck stats make art” to a full house at SXSW, scored hash brownies and MDMA in Austin, drank whiskey backstage with the black angels. 11 years ago, signed up for Twitter. Also brother Bob’s birthday.

These days, a challenge to just get out of bed for a cup of tea… I’m really trying to “move on”, find “acceptance” and “close the book on old life” but it sure the fck ain’t easy with such wild & fulfilling actions in my past

#thanksforlistening #nosympathy #freehugs #trying

Today’s checklist

Today:

  • 13 blood test
  • 2 immunization boosters
  • 3 dental fillings
  • 3 prescriptions
  • 1 vitamin injection
  • 2 molded ear plugs
  • 1 red curry
  • 2 Thai tea
  • 1 cappuccino
  • 2 cigarillos

Grateful: International Women’s Day

A fond salute of admiration to exceptional, compassionate, empathetic and skilled medical professionals who have helped me along on this healing journey. Admiration for their tenacity in training, professionalism in practice, and kindness and patience shown to this ole brokedown poet. #respect