Tag Archives: annotations

Healing: Journals and a Postcard

sorry, i guess – no not at all

As I’m stumbling along on my “healing ramble” series (please watch the intro video for overview and disclaimers, not unusually, finding myself a little bit overwhelmed with all the artifacts, memories, items, even data, to share. So, rather than obsess over it just putting it all out there, even if it’s a bit redundant.

The next “real” dispatches from the series include my “tips for travelling with a chronic illness” (which is rather practical and logistical stuff), plus another entry from Sri Lanka, another from Nepal, a tough one from Pacifica California, more from other places i forgot and maybe I’ll even fill in the missing gaps from Adelaide Australia, Austin Texas, and crossing Canada looking for a home.

In the meanwhile here are the fronts of some notebooks and a postcard which allude to some of the above.

Continue reading Healing: Journals and a Postcard

Healing: Story of Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital ~ Galle, Sri Lanka

not really at the hospital but still captures the spirit of the scene

Memo: What follows comes from my erstwhile “Healing Journal” – written/compiled on a foggy meandering journey to various countries (Pacifica, Phitsanulok, Cochin, Pokhara, Dikwella/Galle…) visiting all manner of hospitals, clinics and exploring various healing modalities and techniques.

Shared here more-or-less unedited for posterity (whatever that is) and to shed light to those struggling who might come across this riff. Please watch the “Healing Ramble, introduction video for context on this series.

Importantly, this is not meant to be a travelogue or creative writing exercise, just laying out my experience as it came to me. I may include some links to other projects or creations that came out of this, maybe… I’m not there yet.

This entry, from is from Galle Sri Lanka, late 2017 and written in the weeks following. It’s now April 2022, i live in Japan, am stable if far from “normal”.  No comments, sympathy requested or accepted. Carry on. 

Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital
Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital: Sign

Background: Along my healing journey, I received treatment at Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital in Galle, Sri Lanka, a government-run, pay-what-you-can facility.

I attended this hospital for Ayurveda treatments for some weeks during Dec. 2017-Jan 2018 and was treated by a kind practitioner called Ruwan. I also met with a wise Doctor who recommended I do a longer in-patient Panchakarma program here, but… some life situations changed and i didn’t do the program. I saw the rooms and talked to the doctors and while it was very spartan and not cozy, the staff seemed to be very intent on their practice.

Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital: Lobby
Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital: Lobby

Routine: Mr. Prem dropped me off via his Tuk-tuk (he introduced me to the facility in the first place), i then went to a window to announce myself (to everyone’s great surprise!) and then sat in the waiting area. Mr. Ruwan would come back from lunch, i would strip down to underwear and lay down on a wooden table (covered with a vinyl sheet) in a shared room with folks coming and going for massage with loads and loads of oil.

Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital: Treatment room
Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital: Treatment room
Continue reading Healing: Story of Dissanayake Ayurvedic Hospital ~ Galle, Sri Lanka

Healing Ramble: Pros & cons of living or seeking treatment abroad with a chronic illness

Memo: Above comes from my erstwhile “Healing Journal” – written/compiled on a foggy meandering journey to various countries (Pacifica, Phitsanulok, Cochin, Pokhara, Dikwella/Galle…) visiting all manner of hospitals, clinics and exploring various healing modalities and techniques.

Shared here more-or-less unedited for posterity (whatever that is) and to shed light to those struggling who might come across this riff. Please watch the “Healing Ramble, introduction” video for context on this series.

Importantly, this is not meant to be a travelogue or creative writing exercise, just laying out my experience as it came to me. I may include some links to other projects or creations that came out of this, maybe… I’m not there yet.

This entry was in Pokhara, Nepal, early 2017, written as a letter to someone i met along the way facing health challenges of their own. I never heard back but whatever…

(finally) organized and published spring 2022 – i now live in Japan, am stable if far from “normal”.  No comments, sympathy requested or accepted. Carry on. Note: There’s another post with a review and brief introduction to Ayurveda Health Home as well. 

daveo

Dear [Redacted],

I’ll speak frankly and candidly from my own experience, all of us are different of course – for the record I am at an Ayurvedic clinic in Pokhara, Nepal.

Background:

a medical diagram of me

Like you, and most everyone else with a chronic complex medical conundrum, I’ve spent all the time since my “trigger event” seeking out various treatments.

From overmatched GP doctors, to the anticipation of finally getting into see a “specialist” and the disappointment crash following when they still have more answers than questions, spending everything you got to see various naturopaths, chiropractors, reiki practitioners, massage therapists, nutritionalists… with little to no long-term benefit, spending sleepless nights reading medical abstracts & journals as though you understand them, seriously considering going in significant debt to go to a “fancy famous” hospital, putting up with family and “friends” advice (occasionally well-meaning) but always useless and often completely disrespectful, using up every bit of energy reserves on a daily basis just to get through the day and hopefully feel some vague sense of satisfaction or accomplishment when really you’re just spinning, seeing the stress it causes on lovers and partners who try their best to understand but crack under the pressure from time to time, and acknowledging your own mental well being — which starts to fragment from exhaustion, frustration and so many (often professional) people telling you that it’s “all in your head”.

I made a penciled flowchart of my various options before I headed out this last time, ergo:

(very frank) life options

Shall I do just what the Western doctors and insurance companies want me to do hide myself in a rainy apartment with old folks down the hall filling the lobby with smell of soup?

Go down in flames with late nights of parties and decadence pushing myself to the very limits knowing that it doesn’t really matter if I wake up tomorrow (I’m just not that self-destructive)?

Or, beg borrow and steal to see the litany of well-meaning but wholly ineffective naturopaths, chiropractors, Reiki practitioners, nutritionists blah blah blah? (I have largely done this and have fallen deeply into debt as a result)

Or do I continue this sorta strange wandering life of seeking healing in foreign lands while playing the “cat and mouse” game with the insurance thugs who wish to control me? I guess this choice won for the time being so i’ll break down the problems in the categories:

  • Financial (the cost of simply living coupled with the cost of getting treatment)
  • Treatment (access to reliable and useful services when you need them)
  • Climate (some of us do better and different weather, as well the “political” and social stress of environment)
  • Community (the first year or so it can seem that you have a support network but as years go on, this breaks down and begins to vanish having a net negative affect)
Global Brigadoon Index ™

My experience:

My “western diagnosis” is fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome/M.E. This all started in May 2013 so I’m coming up on four years. My diagnoses usually affects women and there is support groups etc. have been primarily women, bless their hearts.

Continue reading Healing Ramble: Pros & cons of living or seeking treatment abroad with a chronic illness

Reiwa 3 / 2021 Recap of Intentions and Annotations (with my darlings)

On the big screen in Vancouver <3

Recapping my intentions and annotations for Reiwa 3/2021 with my darlings. Oversharing and whatnot but we’re all sorta friends, right? Lots of honestly and bits of laughter. Big dreams, tiny schemes, life admin to ukulele and most points in between.

Revolutions not Resolutions.

Fondly, us xo

Healing: a declaration, about going & becoming ~ Phitsanulok, THA

a certain angle required to unlatch the door to everything which exists “out there”

What follows comes from my erstwhile “Healing Journal” – written/compiled on a foggy meandering journey to various countries visiting all manner of hospitals, clinics and exploring various healing modalities and technique dealing with #MECFS.

Please watch the “Healing Ramble, introduction” video for context on this series.

This entry from Phitsanulok, Thailand  Oct. 2016 riffs in between 2 extended parts of the trip while flashing back on a few parts which we might get to (chronology be danged).

For reference, its now June 2021, i live in Japan, am stable if far from “normal”.  Carry on.

sure, break the glass but the door is still locked

Phitsanulok, Oct, 2016

I wrote this declaration upon waking up,

“This past summer after literally losing my mind {long story, didn’t end well, not recommended}, I decided to step into the abyss, bravely, intrepidly and without compromise.

While holed up at a mountain cabin while chaos swirled around my life, I’d listen to the messages from records stashed in a basement 25 years before like an unintentional time capsule. I hotboxed my beloved old VW bus, which is now a sauna, where so many memories – happy memories – happened. I reunited with charming characters from my past and even better, met their children who were adults, moreso than me anyway.

Then with a solid head of mushrooms and MDMA (therapeutically), a plan came to me. So on this psychedelic carpet, i clicked enough buttons on the internet to purchase an abstract variety of plane and train tickets to send me around like a manic board game in such of a new flavour of truth and reality >> Salt Lake City to Las Vegas to Pacifica to Chaing Mai and now to this rather-anonymous-work-a-day city Phitsanulok where I’m practically the only foreigner in a city mourning the death of their beloved King. I’m finding comfort and solace and healing.

In scant days, I will leave again into (for me) un-charted territory beyond what science and reason says it’s capable of this haggard body, but I refuse to accept anything but finding some sense of joy.

I can live with pain, i accept this (i suppose, begrudgingly but practically), but i cannot accept living without my brain and without my heart and soul. I am born to give, i exist to share and i am empty without these.

Without a safety net, without an emergency escape route, without language skills, without the strength to punch my way out of a wet paper bag, i built a tiny universe and painted the walls just the colour i chose.

So, who will return to the West Coast on December 6th? Will i return? What will i look like? Who will i be? I am indifferent to all of these questions as the destination is simply a byproduct of the journey.

The journey is me and I am the journey, brick by brick, stride by stumble, i will gently apply the mortar to rebuild, to renew, to replenish and regenerate from the very mitochondrial cells outward.

Whatever the results, it will be me.”

all the colours are possible, sometimes, i suppose, beyond the black… “let’s imagine” i suggest

See also: Thunderstorm in the Crash Years & Story of a bath and more to come… next stop: India, come along

Healing: Story of Pitsanuvej Hospital ~ Phitsanulok, Thailand

Rolling around Pitsanuvej Hospital, Phitsanulok, Thailand. I felt very cared for there, thanks to my “handlers”

What follows comes from my erstwhile “Healing Journal” – written/compiled on a foggy meandering journey to various countries (Pacifica, Phitsanulok, Cochin, Pokhara, Dikwella/Galle…) visiting all manner of hospitals, clinics and exploring various healing modalities and techniques.

Shared here more-or-less unedited for posterity (whatever that is) and to shed light to those struggling who might come across this riff. Please watch the “Healing Ramble, introduction” video for context on this series.

This entry, from Phitsanulok, Thailand, late 2016 was written in the weeks following – hence possible tense shifting. (Finally) organized and published May-June 2021 – i now live in Japan, am stable if far from “normal”.  No comments, sympathy requested or accepted. Carry on. 

Phitsanulok, Thailand, Oct. 2016~

[visited this hospital 4 times 2016-18, these notes are from the first 2 visits]

Intro: My various medical diagnoses (central sensitivity syndrome, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome / M.E.) are generally diagnoses of elimination meaning, (in brief): finding out what it *isn’t*, and if every other possible thing can be eliminated, these are your diagnoses (given the symptoms etc. blah blah blah).

While there is extensive research for specific bio-markers for these diseases (thanks Open Medicine Foundation et al), comprehensive universal, diagnostic methods do not currently exist (and yeah i know there are loads of folks who have alternate theories, whatever, write your own spiel).

waiting for yet another bus in the rain in Vancouver – was all too much for me. holy anxiety and stress and confusion

While in my [ed note: former] home in Vancouver, Canada, these tests are certainly available, I found the process to be an extremely laborious – ergo: after waiting for specialist referral appointment and meeting, i would be sent for a couple of tests requiring a bus ride to the lab, waiting, dealing with all the commotion and pain (yes) of testing and then following up with the doctor who wouldn’t necessarily give me the “science” behind the results – just a “its fine, nothing to see here”.  The results were *evidently* available on a website, which I found impossible to utilize, and the experience overall was very draining.

As such, I compiled a list of all tests I wanted to undertake, and sought a hospital at which I could do all and “own the data.”

own your data (in a cute folder!)

My thinking is, “the sooner I can eliminate all other possibilities, the sooner I can get on with a proper healing regimen and be assured I was doing everything I could to feel better and heal my body etc.”

getting sensors on for an EEG to check my brain impacted from various injuries and concussions

Continue reading Healing: Story of Pitsanuvej Hospital ~ Phitsanulok, Thailand

Typing Intentions + Annotations (with coffee), New Year 2021

Typed for the record and placed on the altar of importancy

Intentions (some, not all) and Annotations (various)
for 2021 / Reiwa 3

Did a little live streamed hang out while banging out some big picture themes and a bunch of practical to-do tasks {as well as a note to self}.

Fiddled with Lettera 34 typewriter to get it operational and then talked my way through various big thoughts and practical plans for the year ahead including a “note to self“ that I won’t get all these things done but I’ve *come so far so fast – so, so “steady on davey, steady on.

Anyway, lovingly – if not perfectly – typed on hemp paper on my erstwhile custom letterhead / and now up on the altar for the kami to help.

Video: Come spin through the video spiel if you have a notion. {It’s over on the face space to see how I got to this point}. Let’s try (gets rolling at :20 min after i silicon up the machine)

{embed not possible due to background music it seems / incidental fair use?}

Summary: Evolutions, not Resolutions, slowly slowly > Your creativity is not going away anywhere, you have decades ahead, first build a foundation & then castle that’s above

The Results ^ note: please lend me a hand – whether it be practical or encouragement – I am wide open to advice and good vibes, truly.

Annotations: Regarding Japanese-inspired Poetry

Consider the words
Write them once, only –
In a single inky sweep
On tactile paper
Then add a flower
Close the book
For now

&/or do none of the above

(from summer 2018 Moleskine accordion notebook “when everything changed”)

Poem: post office closed (again)

Poem: post office closed (again)

Post office closed
(again)
You’ll need another
day to know
you are loved
by a lost poet
without a watch

Ichiro: 1 Month / 23.7.2020 (shrine, grave and various annotations)

July 23, 2020 Ichiro Stanley Thorvald Olson hit the one month mark since birth.

For the record: born June 23, 2020 (Reiwa 2), 16:24, Sun Clinic, Okayama, Japan, 3064 grams. 

As is tradition in Japan, we visited a Shinto shrine – though due to various safety concerns, we did not go to the originally planned shrine (Kibitsu jinja – map – we visited back in January before he was born) or Munetada jinja (where we were married which was our back up plan) – instead just stayed in the neighbourhood and went to the big Torii gate of Tenshin jinja with the parents (but did not climb the endless stairs to the top). Then… Clap clap bow bow say a few words to the kami and (of course) snap a few snaps (10 of which are compiled below). 

Then, as was the tradition throughout the pregnancy, we visited grandpa Ichiro’s grave to give it a clean, light incense, and have a conversation to him including introducing his a little namesake. This providing the opportunity to see 4 generations of the family legacy all at once (in a manner of speaking). PS Grandma Tomiko will be interred her on Aug. 19th. 

To be thorough, Ichiro’s name comes from a combination of his grandpa, Ryoko’s best university sensei (Hongo-sensei), and the desire to have a name which is familiar to western minds and emulates the cross-cultural excellence of the noted baseball player.

Then, my best pal and the fellow who made all of this possible by introducing Ryoko and I, the goat farmer Mac Kobayashi came over for a big sushi dinner and then hang out in the barn studio to listen to records (Built to Spill, Mudhoney, “Father” John Misty, Dan Mangan, Chet Baker…) which is a whole other story.

Anyhow, what follows are a few general notes about our wonderful little dude, basically annotations and observations from his first month. Continue reading Ichiro: 1 Month / 23.7.2020 (shrine, grave and various annotations)