A little collage of printed postcards from the #BCInvasion trip.
Still haven’t really processed, digested, remixed, create-i-fied from this journey but, happenstance offered a moment to print & hang a few of my darlings above the writing desk, pinned to a Bedouin shroud.
Months, so many months since we returned from the #BCInvasion and still, stacks of ephemera, loads of records, so many books, treasures, gifts, treats, and then all of the snapshots in so many formats in so many places… unpatiently waiting for a time when my brain is working and the dishes are washed & the laundry folded to savor and contextualize experience with videos, posts, odes, and proper notes – and of course I want to send “custom thank you cards” to everyone we met along the way.
Realizing this isn’t going to happen and that’s all right but, things will start drifting out, I hope you find a bit of amusement.
The whole whirlwind was such an important trip for me and my darling duo so I want to make sure to express maximum gratitude to all the people who welcomed us, took the time to hang out with us, brought so many treats, hugs, kindness, welcomeness, and general awesomeness.
We arrived home to a bit of a chaos and honestly one conundrum and catastrophe after another but life is grand: the little guy is snoring beside me dreaming of shovel cars and strawberry cake, my incredible wife is more remarkable each day and me well… let’s not even talk about me.
{Well, in brief, I am so full of stories, songs, poems and projects yet I just can’t quite get the required blood and oxygen into my brain to do all the craftiness I’m dreaming of but, I’m living til at least 120 years old so will get there eventually. You’ll buy the book(s) right? Right?}
In the meanwhile, here is one snapshot.
We went to visit great grandma today and I printed her out an assortment of cute photos and kept thinking “oh my goodness, this is the best one ever” and then “no seriously, this one, or this one… I need them all” there’s not enough ink, paper, time to properly contextualize it all.
It was just so much more and yet nowhere near enough. Never will be the same.
So to you, gratefully from a man with an unruly beard, coif of curl, with a seaplane and beloved mysterious yellow pile of sulfur across the inlet I’ve crossed so many times by Seabus and right by Stanley Park which always felt like coming home.
Peace and gratitude to all of you. More to come (if you want it).
Preamble: You’re “supposed to talk about “these things“ so I am but putting it here where no one will notice since I’m kind of sick of all the “social channels” or bored or annoyed or frustrated by squandering potential and watching the knuckleheads use all the oxygen. I’m not giving up in a big way, just in several small ways.
I knew it was coming – coming back from the #BcInvasion trip, three weeks now, just feeling discombobulated // knew would be physically exhausted but emotionally and mentally just can’t seem to get my head together…
Adrenals depleted, cortisol, is a very high or very low? Serotonin and dopamine trying to regenerate. Pineal gland wondering what it does anymore. 
Neural pathways coming back online, spine discs trying to slip it back in place, signal switching, which once sparked a long curvaceous route, now getting used to expressways from toes to knees to spine to shoulders and then shooting pain up through that misaligned cervical roadblock like a pebble in the boot walking out Timpanogos for 34 years since Jerome Idaho 1988, Christmas Eve.
Anyhow, the sting behind my eyes, the dull pain when i try to move or think, the brain frankly going very dark and very blue and danger-esque – and coupled with so much sad news far out of my control (so many RiP), senses of loss that I thought I’d worked through but I guess haven’t, anyway, it’s been a bit too much – so I retreat.
It’s hardly the first time, ha! it’s a on-going series of existential crisis and brain hi-jacking from lack of deep rest, increase in stress, atmospheric issues etc.
I “retreat” to the things I know how to do within the brain crash fog and which benefit my self-care and my precious darling duo: wash and fold laundry, make tea and rice, ensure mosquito net in place, and even sometimes try to manage the compost. Oh yeah, a hot bath for everyone (despite 38°+ days)!
Then step-up to bus rides to treatments (ivs & seitai) and then level-up to postcards at coffee shops.
I also gracefully remember unlike so many of my fellow #MECFS fellow travelers, I’m now getting out of bed most every day(!) I am finding bits of physical strength returning by resparking the cellular ATP process to re/build mitochondria – I carried some bricks, some trees. Sweating in a *not just peeling an orange” way. Not gentle walks, :15 of exertion then we sever.
Now, a few lap projects which I love doing in moments of quiet in the house with hemp cloth, needle and thread or drumkit, screw thread loc-tite and pliers, or bricks, charcoal and cast-iron. Improving the campsite!
[The above diary was recorded June 19, today is July 17 – post backdated to kind of hide it – I’m making steps: I receive some wonderful things in the post, some disappointing news at the hospital but also some positive referrals and new efficient systems in place, a few phone calls from elusive friends, well placed emails with snapshots of children on adventures, tomorrow will eat a watermelon, so we go on]
Back from #bcinvasion trip a week / heck of a reentry, ergo:
Tomorrow (Sunday) nephew Lee (13 y/o) is going to church, then joining the darling duo to make a tremendous trio to go to tea ceremony, so… I’m hoping to sneak away to my beloved kura barn studio to unpack records & books & other treats.
We’ll see how I go, I’m totally over energy envelope and adrenals are completely depleted. Hoping some cool dark room with good music and maybe even a bit of ukulele playing will soothe my soul. There’s even a few more Letters and Postcards to enjoy!
I had a delusion I would be leisurely sending personal follow-up notes/videos to all the friends we met along the way to say “thank you for being part of our experience, awesome gifts, handy rides, comfy beds and simply existing with us“ but I guess that will come eventually. I also know that people know this but also know the importance of expressing gratitude in a tangible form.
I really have 1000 things to tell you, more actually – not sure quite what form the storytelling will take but anyway, now I’m in bed, the mosquito net is up (my incredible wife doing so many things to get the cottage cozy again), parents are making Gyoza but I’m going to hide out in the bath and eat a salad, possibly at the same time – ha. Such a luxury!
{In my fog, also watched a couple of documentaries I have commentary on but probably won’t ever get around to sharing}
Reminding myself: “good job, you pulled off a truly impossible trip with no major calamities and well over 100 human connections and then after a very challenging long airplane journey, showed up (despite complete exhaustion) looking sharp and respectful for a funeral for a relative you didn’t really know but hey, you’re part of this family and showing up is what you do – and oh yeah, after a couple days of incredible pain and crying my face off, got in two days of treatment which ain’t easy and only lost my temper once for a second” #PatsSelfOnBack
Oh right, I’ve been meaning to ask anyone who joined us on any of our “hobbit camp” excursions and hangouts to share photos on some channel or another #dribc
