Tag Archives: cfs

Healing: mementos of pedicures

These days – what with the Fibro and CFS/M.E. etc. – slowing me down, I find activities to get me out of the house which requires doing not much but sitting.

While pedicures may not seem like a medical therapy, and they’re certainly not, self-care is important part of my healing journey.

Indeed, when feeling frustrated and early days of the illness, I made a list of things I can do which involves sitting down, but get me out of the house, and leave me with a feeling of satisfaction. These include making scrapbooks, seen matinee movies, sitting in parks under a tree, getting my beard professionally trimmed rather than chopping at it myself, as well as pedicures.

As such, on all my healing journey is, I find pedicure places to massage and soothe my feet, trim up my nails, and leave with some colour on them. This often elicits a strange response from the practitioners as painted toes aren’t as common for men as they are for women certainly, but I find a practice quite enjoyable. In some cases, I paint my toes the colour of a local flag or other traditional local schemes, otherwise I stick to shades of blue and green.

For the record: Indonesia and Thailand definitely have the best pedicure practitioners (is that a thing?), But I’m also eager to try pedicures in Vietnam as many manicurists in the USA, come from Vietnam.

In India especially, they thought my practice of painting toes was very strange, as such i did myself (very poorly yet joyfully nonetheless). In Nepal, they were low on supplies. Once or twice, i enjoyed a pedicure whilst at sea.

I first started this practice at the advice of a lady who took me for a pedicure in Vancouver before going to Jamaica the first time at that time, I had Jamaican flag painted on my big toes (not sure i have a photo…).

Sometimes i take photos of my toes, not all the time, here are some of mah big ole ugly feets. Sometimes i forget and just take snap of the old colour before replacing.

No annotations since i don’t expect anyone will look or care, i mean really, its just photos of my feet.

Continue reading Healing: mementos of pedicures

Thunderstorms in the Crash Years – Postcard #75

Pod cover - postcards from gravelly beach - thunderstorms in crash years

Amidst a thunderstorm at 4AM in Chiang Mai, Dave discusses – with excessive frankness and emotion – various medical conundrums (Fibromyalgia and CFS-ME) and details the physical feelings of “crash mode” as well as the mental strain in dealing with self de-identification and inter-personal relationships, confusion in seeking help, and various alternative treatments. No sympathy or advice requested.

Always be kind for: Thunder in the Crash Years – Postcard #75
(75MB, 37:09, mp3, stereo)

Continue reading Thunderstorms in the Crash Years – Postcard #75

Auspicious day

9 years ago today, I presented “fuck stats make art” to a full house at SXSW, scored hash brownies and MDMA in Austin, drank whiskey backstage with the black angels. 11 years ago, signed up for Twitter. Also brother Bob’s birthday.

These days, a challenge to just get out of bed for a cup of tea… I’m really trying to “move on”, find “acceptance” and “close the book on old life” but it sure the fck ain’t easy with such wild & fulfilling actions in my past

#thanksforlistening #nosympathy #freehugs #trying

Dog days of healing…

Sure don’t enjoy talking about, or even acknowledging cause feels like i’m conceding power & spreading sadness, but… fck me, the fibro + me/cfs etc really got me achey bleary today. I’ll be alright, just saying here rather than hollering out-loud and weirding folks out.

#puppy #sadeyes #cuddles

Coordinating toes & bath minerals

Facing Chronic

The thirteenth Doctor concurred with nine of the others… “Get your affairs in order, apply for disability, consider getting a cat.” After which she noted, as most of them do, “You know this syndrome usually affects women, in fact 90% of the time” – my eyes roll inadvertently, i don’t care if she notices. She sends me along with assurances that the extensively-noted side “benefits” of the basket of prescriptions “don’t happen to everyone after all.” Ugh. I am toxic and confused.

Walking to a borrowed home, I rest on every bench, imagining my one-life revolving around reruns of M*A*S*H at 6 and 6:30, Hogan’s Heroes at 8PM. Maybe I’ll start watching that show called Seinfeld I missed in the 90s. Was that the 90s? I count years backwards to figure: there was the Japanese sojourn, the time in Micronesia, grape picking in Germany, hitchhiking Australia…”

I see myself all in reflections: I stoop, I am slow, I resist definition but must acknowledge a choice… I can “sit still” or I can “run away”. Ergo: burn out or fade away. So, I write a will (for the first time) and buy a one-way ticket to a distant city I’ve know nothing about.

potions, come magic, others benign

#potions, some magic, others utilitarian / also human, mostly benign, often resting

Did I mention thanks and that I adore you? #paperwork #blues

Hey Pals, remember a week or so ago when I was feeling so blue and grousing about all this paperwork and the anxiety and the stress it causes…?

Well after a mighty effort yesterday, everything is packaged into four envelopes to mail to various government offices, doctors, insurance companies and so on.

But I’ll tell you, it was no fun emotionally or mentally as i listed all the different doctors, treatments, modalities and so on for the past three years. And the net result is of no benefit to me as they simply take out the Canada pension plan disability pymt from my private insurance disability payment (Which, don’t get me wrong I’m incredibly grateful to receive otherwise I would be living in a tarpaper shack by now).

Telling you this as a “victory lap” since I didn’t go out to celebrate with pints and joints till 4:20 AM (instead took a long hot bath with Japanese bath salts, three kinds of soap and some nice tunes in a dark bathroom)

Plus telling you this so I can let you know I truly appreciate each of you for acknowledging me when I’m losing my shit, offering to help, letting me know that you care and that I’m not invisible.

I know I’m not a real peach to be around these days and as much as I try to be positive and optimistic, there is no mental strength I have to stop wondering “what if?”…

I’ve gotten closer to acceptance in that I accept that I will never be the guy I used to be, and progress will be slow but there is more out there for me to do.

My revolutions are now much more gentle and usually done from the comfort of a bed.

But truly, thanks, I often regret sharing this shit with all of you since everyone has lives and responsibilities and expectations and problems but, it’s what I know how to do.

Did I mention thanks and that I adore you?

I’ll add a photo of something as people seem to enjoy those  and now that I’m done, perhaps I’ll share a new batch of music for your ears soon to overwhelm all the negativity, violence and politics and religion and nonsense in the world.

Occasionally, Dave

Canada needs a tropical province…

I really think Canada needs a tropical province or a relationship with a tropical republic, or possibly a “special relationship” with a former commonwealth country like Belize. Can we adopt?

Think of all the money which goes from Canada to Mexico or the southern United States each year. Could be put to better use and help an emerging country find its feet.

And no, I am not talking about “colonies” which the US often calls territories or protectorates including Puerto Rico, Guam, Northern Mariana islands, American Samoa… These folks get to vote for Congress person but their Congress person does not get to vote in Congress. How is this acceptable? #Digression

My reasons are somewhat selfish and not with my current health and syndromes, cold rainy weather sucks and running away to warmer foreign countries causes contention with various agencies and so on…

Annotations: 

Neal Cropper The Turks Caicos islands have asked to be annexed by Canada on the past I believe.

Dave: Read the article and video and wow, like no information except naysaying. and “oh we’ll have to ask the queeen to surrender her asset” ?? wtf is this still colonial times? and John Baird dismissing it out of hand prob because he’s not a paid consultant for T&C. This needs proper consideration and discourse, not dismissal out of hand. The money alone which is leaked to US/Mexico is ridiculous. And this doesn’t have to be a province or territory per se, more like a “common law” relationship, than a marriage.

Of logistics and papers of health conundrums…


Hey Pals, remember a week or so ago when I was feeling so blue and grousing about all this paperwork and the anxiety and the stress it causes…?

Well after a mighty effort yesterday, everything is packaged into four envelopes to mail to various government offices, doctors, insurance companies and so on.

But I’ll tell you, it was no fun emotionally or mentally as i listed all the different doctors, treatments, modalities and so on for the past three years. And the net result is of no benefit to me as they simply take out the Canada pension plan disability pymt from my private insurance disability payment (Which, don’t get me wrong I’m incredibly grateful to receive otherwise I would be living in a tarpaper shack by now).

Telling you this as a “victory lap” since I didn’t go out to celebrate with pints and joints till 4:20 AM (instead took a long hot bath with Japanese bath salts, three kinds of soap and some nice tunes in a dark bathroom) 

Plus telling you this so I can let you know I truly appreciate each of you for acknowledging me when I’m losing my shit, offering to help, letting me know that you care and that I’m not invisible.

I know I’m not a real peach to be around these days and as much as I try to be positive and optimistic, there is no mental strength I have to stop wondering “what if?”…

I’ve gotten closer to acceptance in that I accept that I will never be the guy I used to be, and progress will be slow but there is more out there for me to do. 

My revolutions are now much more gentle and usually done from the comfort of a bed.

But truly, thanks, I often regret sharing this shit with all of you since everyone has lives and responsibilities and expectations and problems but, it’s what I know how to do.

Did I mention thanks and that I adore you?

I’ll add a photo of something as people seem to enjoy those :-) and now that I’m done, perhaps I’ll share a new batch of music for your ears soon to overwhelm all the negativity, violence and politics and religion and nonsense in the world.

Occasionally, Dave