Tag Archives: me

Thunderstorms in the Crash Years – Postcard #75

Pod cover - postcards from gravelly beach - thunderstorms in crash years

Amidst a thunderstorm at 4AM in Chiang Mai, Dave discusses – with excessive frankness and emotion – various medical conundrums (Fibromyalgia and CFS-ME) and details the physical feelings of “crash mode” as well as the mental strain in dealing with self de-identification and inter-personal relationships, confusion in seeking help, and various alternative treatments. No sympathy or advice requested.

Always be kind for: Thunder in the Crash Years – Postcard #75
(75MB, 37:09, mp3, stereo)

Continue reading Thunderstorms in the Crash Years – Postcard #75

Dog days of healing…

Sure don’t enjoy talking about, or even acknowledging cause feels like i’m conceding power & spreading sadness, but… fck me, the fibro + me/cfs etc really got me achey bleary today. I’ll be alright, just saying here rather than hollering out-loud and weirding folks out.

#puppy #sadeyes #cuddles

Coordinating toes & bath minerals

potions, come magic, others benign

#potions, some magic, others utilitarian / also human, mostly benign, often resting

Did I mention thanks and that I adore you? #paperwork #blues

Hey Pals, remember a week or so ago when I was feeling so blue and grousing about all this paperwork and the anxiety and the stress it causes…?

Well after a mighty effort yesterday, everything is packaged into four envelopes to mail to various government offices, doctors, insurance companies and so on.

But I’ll tell you, it was no fun emotionally or mentally as i listed all the different doctors, treatments, modalities and so on for the past three years. And the net result is of no benefit to me as they simply take out the Canada pension plan disability pymt from my private insurance disability payment (Which, don’t get me wrong I’m incredibly grateful to receive otherwise I would be living in a tarpaper shack by now).

Telling you this as a “victory lap” since I didn’t go out to celebrate with pints and joints till 4:20 AM (instead took a long hot bath with Japanese bath salts, three kinds of soap and some nice tunes in a dark bathroom)

Plus telling you this so I can let you know I truly appreciate each of you for acknowledging me when I’m losing my shit, offering to help, letting me know that you care and that I’m not invisible.

I know I’m not a real peach to be around these days and as much as I try to be positive and optimistic, there is no mental strength I have to stop wondering “what if?”…

I’ve gotten closer to acceptance in that I accept that I will never be the guy I used to be, and progress will be slow but there is more out there for me to do.

My revolutions are now much more gentle and usually done from the comfort of a bed.

But truly, thanks, I often regret sharing this shit with all of you since everyone has lives and responsibilities and expectations and problems but, it’s what I know how to do.

Did I mention thanks and that I adore you?

I’ll add a photo of something as people seem to enjoy those  and now that I’m done, perhaps I’ll share a new batch of music for your ears soon to overwhelm all the negativity, violence and politics and religion and nonsense in the world.

Occasionally, Dave

Canada needs a tropical province…

I really think Canada needs a tropical province or a relationship with a tropical republic, or possibly a “special relationship” with a former commonwealth country like Belize. Can we adopt?

Think of all the money which goes from Canada to Mexico or the southern United States each year. Could be put to better use and help an emerging country find its feet.

And no, I am not talking about “colonies” which the US often calls territories or protectorates including Puerto Rico, Guam, Northern Mariana islands, American Samoa… These folks get to vote for Congress person but their Congress person does not get to vote in Congress. How is this acceptable? #Digression

My reasons are somewhat selfish and not with my current health and syndromes, cold rainy weather sucks and running away to warmer foreign countries causes contention with various agencies and so on…

Annotations: 

Neal Cropper The Turks Caicos islands have asked to be annexed by Canada on the past I believe.

Dave: Read the article and video and wow, like no information except naysaying. and “oh we’ll have to ask the queeen to surrender her asset” ?? wtf is this still colonial times? and John Baird dismissing it out of hand prob because he’s not a paid consultant for T&C. This needs proper consideration and discourse, not dismissal out of hand. The money alone which is leaked to US/Mexico is ridiculous. And this doesn’t have to be a province or territory per se, more like a “common law” relationship, than a marriage.

Riding bus bound for appt…

Riding bus bound for appt w/ holistic nutritionalist to learn more about anti-inflam food & thwarting leaky gut #healing #Grateful #sickofit

Healing: Notes to self (handwritten, various)

healing: when feeling blue… list
healing: i do… list
healing: trust self, float on, rest and calm
healing: conundrums…
healing: perceptive > transitional > within limits

The bluer i feel…

Note: The bluer i feel, the more exclamation points i use. A coping mechanism to manifest some level of excitement on tough days. #healing!

after spending so much time in Drs office…

In other news, after spending so much time in Drs office + labs etc, I’ve finally started answering to David rather than insisting on Dave.