Tag Archives: reinvention

Disappearing for Invigoration – Postcard #78 via video

Disappearing, invisibility, loneliness, depression, anxiety, being lost, trying to not be found, trying to find white space to invigorate… Sometimes these weave together, other times (perhaps) each remain exclusive.

Gord Downie, Jack Kerouac, Charles Bukowski and me all try to figure out the nuance in different ways atop Turkish street music, trains from Kerala and Moncton, and various ephemeral music snippets.

Note: Also available in audio-only via all normal podcast channels and elsewhere in this library.

Notes: What i Seek in Community / Places to Live

When the wheels fell off life due to illness, deaths, heartbreaks etc (circa 2015), i scribbled notes in a notebook naturally with intentions about where to go, how to live. I visited many places seeking safety, creativity and community. While my notes didn’t reveal the plan per se, the exercise was valuable to discover what i wanted/needed/capabilities. Published as a “note to future self” to remind the importance of stating intentions from the heart (with assist from the head).

What I Seek in Community

  • Golf carts for quiet transport like Caye Caulker
  • Island but with easy access to mainland like Gabriola
  • Ganja like Jamaica
  • Strangeness of history like Pelilu
  • Minimal dogma in religion like Bali
  • Community centre and market like Pender Island
  • Village of shops but not a strip mall
  • Visitors come and go from guesthouses, tours, inns like Berkshires
  • Music, recording studios, concerts, festivals like Salt Spring(?)
  • Access to natural medical services & quality food
  • Post office

Places to Live

Req: Anonymous, Creative, Safe + Community

  • Torrey UT /Larry’s Land
  • House on Gabriola
  • Thai/Viet/Cambodia
  • UK Protectorate (Falklands, VI)
  • Japan (Okayama > south)
  • Nova Scotia (Cape Breton) or other Maritimes
  • Portugal / Spain / Greece
  • Victoria if no other option – too “perfect” for action Dave

Disappearing for Invigoration – Postcard #78

Disappearing for Invigoration – Postcard #78
Disappearing for Invigoration – Postcard #78

Disappearing, invisibility, loneliness, depression, anxiety, being lost, trying to not be found, trying to find white space to invigorate… Sometimes these weave together, other times (perhaps) each remain exclusive.

Gord Downie, Jack Kerouac, Charles Bukowski and me all try to figure out the nuance in different ways atop Turkish street music, trains from Kerala and Moncton, and various ephemeral music snippets.

Prepare to vanish with: Disappearing for Invigoration – Postcard #78 (23MB, 16:25, 192k mp3, stereo)

Continue reading Disappearing for Invigoration – Postcard #78

Another batch of dispatches…

Another batch of dispatches underway. Handwriting still lousy but sentiments still true. Also must commend self of exceptional quality & variety in stationary (nice one daveo, thank dave) – this is my #therapy on quest for #reinvention & #reincarnation .

Declaration: upon waking up

I wrote this declaration upon waking up…

This past summer, after literally losing my mind, I decided to step into the abyss… Bravely, intrepidly and without compromise.

Holed up at a mountain cabin while chaos swirled around my lives, I listened to the message from records from decades ago, I hot boxed my beloved bus were so many happy memories happened, I reunited with charming characters from my past and even better, met their children who are adults (moreso than me anyway), then with a solid head of mushrooms and MDMA, this plan came to me.

On a psychedelic carpet, i clicked enough buttons on the Internet, to purchase an abstract variety of plane tickets to send me a round like a manic boardgame in search of a new flavour of truth and reality.

Salt Lake to Las Vegas to Pacifica to Chaing Mai and now to this anonymous city where I’m practically the only foreigner in a city mourning the death of their beloved King, I’m finding comfort and solace and healing.

In scant days, I will leave again into uncharted territory, beyond what science and reason says is capable of this haggard body but I refuse to except anything but finding some sense of joy.

I can live with pain I accept, but I cannot accept living without my brain and without my heart and soul. I am born to give, exist to share, and I am empty without those.

Without a safety net, without and emergency escape route, without language skills, without the strength to punch my way out of a wet paper bag, I have built a tiny universe and painted the walls just the colour I chose.

Who will return to the West Coast on December 6? what will I look like? Who will I be? I am indifferent to all of these questions as the destination is simply a byproduct of the journey.

The journey is me and I am the journey. Brick by brick, I will gently apply the mortar to rebuild, to renew, to replenish and regenerate from the very mitochondrial cells outwards.

What ever the result, it will be me.

This action was once so easy for me…

I am headed on a tiny trip to see Duane Storey in Chilliwack. I am rolling on the West Coast Express, I like this ride. I brought my official work computer which i had not turned on since i became ill on May 27th.

The tabs remained, the clock had reset to 2001 and many passwords changed. I am slowly returning to the world with computers rather than the one occupied with anxiety and medical appointments.

I am listening to my dear friend Adaline Sings and she thrills me each time. I am proud of myself for putting on my “bog boy pants” and going “somewhere” by myself. This action was once so easy for me. Now takes maximum courage and fortitude.

This hibernated computer holds many flashbacks and projects underway which i was obliged to abandon when on May 27th, i collapsed. Every cell stopped working it seemed.

Of the open documents, there was a bio written for some long forgotten speech pitch, prezo application or something. Here it is for posterity to describe i am only “sort of” now.

“The core of personal expression is the the stories we make and participate in. Indeed, we humans are defined by the stories we tell and the people we tell them to. No matter what form your stories take, they come alive when given interestingness and an audience. Start finding your interestingness and inspiration then in your own neighbourhoods.

Exploring an eclectic variety of Vancouver stories, mixed media story maker, Dave Olson @uncleweed send you on personal quests to discover new heroes, sort out conundrums, collaborate and remix artifacts from our local life.

Dave grew up in Guildford, Whalley, Newton and now lives in Lynn Valley – while he’s spent time in 29 other countries – takes distinct interest in exploring Vancouver for craft ales, chill gardens and curious tales.

You may have caught him sharing at Pecha Kucha, SXSW, TedX or local community club.”

Guess that’s who i was, now to figure out who i am next.

 

I nary posted a word…

For several months after becoming ill, I nary posted a word,… but I’m a natural sharer and storyteller and now feel more inclined to publish my “notes to self” videos and other ephemeral objects which document my internal struggle, growth, healing, etc.

My question to you is: How much is too much documentation?

I don’t seek sympathy, miracle cures, get-togethers etc., just sharing for my own benefit & posterity. Maybe you’ll send me a postcard.

Thoughts about me & my artifact publishing? Too much sickDave? Or are you on the Davetrain?