Handy thing about being born with a “lazy eye” – though I prefer the word astigmatism simply because it’s harder to spell – is you’re almost ready made for a costume.

The stick-on patches were more medically reliable from youngsters fingers than the classic pirate look but, it’s always good for a chuckle.

Sidenote: eye surgery at 18 months old and glasses from then on out… Remember I told you I bought a few optometrist boats by now?