They named his Ray born in Thunder bay back when still called something else
Tired hard in school Not that he was a fool He just didn’t care that much
But he won 2nd place In science class His volcano was almost best
Played Junior A But couldn’t go all the way Just glad he saved his teeth
He hitchhiked east half-way at least almost made it to Labrador
Though he dug the times left the Celts behind and took the rails far west
With a coffee mug and pawned guitar he rarely missed a fest
Crossed the prairies fast hit rockies at last and kept on rolling to the coast
Grew some grass for friends and than had to make amends when the poe-leece shook him down
3 months forced rest in suburban house he was ready to make a stand
He sat in front of trucks and sat some more in courts all for bearing witness to old trees fallin to ground
Now in these older days almost twice as wise and he learned the tools to change the world
Hes got to build a life to prove it can be done sharp enough to know to hang out with the flow and think how he’s gotta turn to make life fun he doesn’t forget that to make it great you can’t leave your clan behind ya gotta be nice to others help them from time to time
I get three fifty k
to just show up and play
been three weeks since i last scored
and yet i still don’t ask for more
I don’t give a shit
if i even get a hit
cause my agent called me again today
and told the check clears either way
Hot dogs and vodka
Wash it down with beer
smokies and caesers
i’ve never been so clear
Hot dogs and vodka
half dozen before each game
gimlets with hoagies
maybe thats why i’m so lame
Sometimes I’ll admit
that i’ve done some crimes
stole a smokie from the cart
at granville street and vine …
In fact, i’ve thiefed em
a couple dozen times
they hand it over
it just ain’t that hard
i load it with relish
and they ask for my two-nie
and by then and eating my napkin
and my lord i am running
i’m running, running, running …
But it really don’t matter
if i get any fatter
i can still sweep the wreckage
from the coliseum aisles
When they came out to scout me
they should’ve looked more closely
and discovered my true ambition
ahh the beers, … they steal all my affection
Now here i toil
broke, sad and turmoiled
thinking of all the kids i let down
i sweep up your mess
and you can’t hardly guess
that i use to skate on that ice
Originally published in Heads Magazine Toke on the Porch blog on January 22, 2007
Out n’ about on assignment for a forthcoming Heads article, I witnessed a sport hitherto unknown to me which combined many activities I enjoy into one sublime recreational pursuit: full contact hockey, tasty weed, chillaxin’ and longboarding (I am a newb – just cruised the Stanley Park seawall a couple times).
Anyhow, ace photog KK+, fashionista Kdon and my rolling amigo Cousin Herb chronicled the action – both the ongoing hockey games and boarders running the six story garage kamikaze style while sliding hard stops at the bottom and riding elevator back up for another go. Besides KK‘s tasty snapshots, I shot some video I’ll cobble together into a clip soon.
Here are a few outtakes, anecdotes and pics of the exploits:
On the stuffed elevator ride to the 6th floor, before I can pull the fattie of Chocolate Jack Herer from behind my ear, a smiling chick in blond pigtails and a Team Canada jersey sparks a beauty doobie.
Turns out she’s The Bloods’ goalie Natasha getting in another run before playing her former team, the North Shore Slashers after they finish off the Shitmix. She doesn’t seem insane yet she eagerly faces wildmen firing beer cans at her head, “It’s nuts out there, there are no rules, everyone should try it.”
Some incredible boarders (behold the mightiness of King Brian!) and a bewildering assortment of boards, mostly Landyachtz and Rayne.
“The Meathheads” are up 2-1 thanks to a wiry dude sans helmet who snakes through defenders – hard sliding to the left while shooting off the right, one foot flying behind.
Just when it looks easy, he takes a hit goes Bobby-Orr-flying through the air onto the pavement, then leaps back up before being run down. Turns out this savant is “King” Brian who skates for the 9-0 Chilliwack team. He’s also the Longboard Hockey League’s defending scoring champ and frequent curator of the Chanley Cup.
Besides the Longboard Hockey League, Coastlongboarding organizes a 4 day festival in May on the Sunshine Coast with a downhill race, championship hockey game and punk bands at a reserved campground at Danger Bay.
I ask another Chilliwack Meathhead called Tyson what possesses them to drive out from the farthest burb of Chilliwack – a town I remember mostly for grow houses and cow shit – “it’s about the community” he says rolling up a huge cone from my ample first aid kit of bud. His buddy adds, “Yeah, all we do is skate and smoke weed.”
Sounds good to me, pulling a hoot with my head fogged and face grinning. “Good stuff” he says, as i dodge a bearded dude on a six wheel skateboard barrelling down the garage ramp.
An intriguing evening at the LHL games for sure – I spread the custom Heads rollies around Cousin Herb rolled up the aforementioned Chocolate Jack Herer using the “made in Spain” Raws and those clear rolling substrates I’ve become so fond of.
Of course, I recorded interviews and action for a forthcoming Choogle on with Uncle Weed podcast. Recent episodes make fine companions to my HeadFirst articles, “Rebagliati Positive for 2010” and “Zen Rambling in Japan.” Check out “International Heads and Hemp Oil – Choogle on #34” for some behind the scenes commentary and anecdotes from the articles plus my interview with Ross is at “Coffee talk with Gold Medalist Ross Rebagliati.”
Loading up my calendar with goodness including: Hockey, Level 1 at Ice Sports (starting Wed.) Sing it Forward at the Vogue (Jan 10) DOA at the Rickshaw (Jan 18) Portage and Main at the Biltmore (Jan 25) Do Less yoga session (Jan 20) Firework Factory retreat in June plus a load of Chiropractor and Massage appointments.
This past weekend the streets of downtown Vancouver were blocked off to celebrate the one year anniversary of the 2010 Olympics. Later today I’m going to tell you all about the street hockey game that I played in on Granville Street but first I’ll skip to the end of it and how I ended up standing on the very podium that Alexandre Bilodeau accepted his gold medal on. I’m pretty sure our team lost but still somehow I ended up standing atop this thing. Whaaaat?
The title of this post might be a little cliche but it’s so true that I couldn’t not run with it. Despite a rainfall warning that resulted in a river flowing down Granville Street, Saturday’s street hockey games during the Relive It celebrations downtown brought out some impressive crowds, great times and plenty of smiles.
I had a blast playing in the “celebrity” game which was more like a “media” game with a few local celebs sprinkled in amongst us for good measure. Benefitting Five Hole For Food, teams were picked traditionally with all of our sticks going into a pile and then being separated randomly forming two motley crews. The streets were blocked off for the day so thankfully we didn’t have to participate in that other Canadian tradition of calling out “CAR!” and moving the nets every 5 minutes!
I was fortunate to have Kris Krug (left) and Mike Klassen (right) on my team. As it was a friendly game nobody was keeping score but if one thing is certain it’s that we kept Meena Mann (centre) and her goons including Olympic bobsledder, Justin Kripps (background), at bay! Of course I use the term “goons” in the friendliest possible way as the good-natured smack talk preceded this game on Twitter and extended offline throughout the rain-soaked 45 minutes.
Below are all the folks that played in our game along with their Twitter handles if you care to follow them and see all the smack they talk!
Thanks to Five Hole For Food for bringing together all of these personalities for a friendly game of street hockey. I would love to see this become a regular thing where the local media (and a few actual celebrities) get together for friendly competition!