Where am i supposed to find you?
Have we waited past our penance?
Satisfied society’s requirements of transitions
To avoid hushed voices?
I’ve no more canals to transit
Seas of each colour crossed
20 words in 30 languages
Origami wallet with flotsam of currencies
Bordering between souvenir and re-entry ease
Dusty rucksack with light wool suit, Arab robe, sleeping costume, swim pants
And another notebook
Full with soliloquies about you
And questions for you
The ship to shore radio
But i’ve nowhere to call
No one to call
How will you find me here?
As my location is unknown
Though charted, i assume
Spectacled, heavy on a rosy face, hidden among stacks, drawing inventions of maps – delineating frontier is between playful apparatchik and fields where the healthy and husky scrambled games I couldn’t be bothered to learn the constructed rules of play.
Name in regions of gravel and grass in derivations of Iowa towns and possibly Balkan enclaves. Tracing roads across trucking routes and Roman ruins built to the width of chariot wheels-cemented as standards for mine entrance bringing a horse to Shores, away from CPS relations to new lives, absent from home still never know I can-beyond memories, Serio-graphed into filtered ideals.
Yet an unsteady hand and overall disconnect, or even indifference, which led to a place to “settle”-build a house dead June from cures logs, and seasoned by time, after hewn, nailed and assembled by saw blade and heavy sludge, forge by a possible cousin could always remain a stranger.
The blade remains anonymous as an un-muttered pithy quote en route to cliché.
Neither did exploding suns, brilliant and fleeting, assembled in patterns, ~ shared by the patient and measured in Newtonian units – still could not muster a journey – hence gazed, but ignored as impractical, nigh impossible.
Translucent ayers, super-imposed and stacked, detailing azimuths, trajectories and elevations – separating fertile valleys (thought subject to floods) from talus slopes too steep but for mountain rams on the shady flank of Timpanogos.
Dotted dashed and surveyed, specific dots explained in legend denoting assigned capitals, provincial outposts and occasionally hamlets determined by polled populations, overseen with constructed superintendents, supported by varying address of retainers.
Intrigued by absence of obvious order though not my task to chart.
Instead, as per instinct, selected committed to memory, devoid of context, thin slices of knowledge swirling in a petri vacuum – accurate as such but irrelevant
So i journeyed to wonder about likely motivations which took Normans, Pharaohs and troubadours beyond the point of unknown return. Capes left in wakes with dates and hard-track to fortify a quest alleged to diagram flora. Among them, I reference guide notes from decades past – a vague as possible to acquire allowing white-space and risk. Packed in burlap next to a survivor’s stove and pouch of seeds and spices and an important black pencil. Only planned to go one way, impartial to return rather to chronicle the unfamiliar.
The familiar left far behind as physics might allow – exchanged possible comfort in normalcy for uncertainty contentment in ambiguity. Meandering concentric routes, devoid of patterns or ready purpose.
Answers are easier in cliché, ergo:
“I’ll know when i get there” –
Town to creek to roadside conundrum – I swirled each in mouth , pretending my palette featured a vocabulary to explain to unseeing why I hadn’t settled for seemingly ideal locales, situations and specific circumstance to flourish.
Eventually, after farm toil, beach frolic, rough nights in dangerous morass, leaping turrets of ruins and painful heaving, missed junctions and forgotten aims, at a campfire in a lake-forest with a khaki-scout familiarity, I stumbled through an unfavorable gale, onto the intended coast
I mocked myself for mis-named non-discoveries, i assumed as fragrant promised lands of plenty allowed to the intrepid erstwhile accidental navigators.
Teased over misread hieroglyphics and misappropriated meaning to stone wheels quarried a far, hauled by double-hulled craft powered by taro and current and fickle breeze.
I could no longer mock with unearned disdain, the vaunted and faulted explorers, stolen secrets leading to some anomaly errantly pro-claimed as new or proper or divine.
Earnestly deterred, i occurred to was to map a universe of flesh and thought. Breath and sounds assembled into meaning.
The crease on cheek, the measure of brow, the angle of toes, magnitude of halo surrounding chameleon eyes and the mysterious enthusiasm of all which exists between.
Thwarted, not ny scenery but by shaking confessions, fumbled after a stealth crossing at an indifferent frontier town. I’d escaped to my holy land I presumed for an instant before minor catastrophe.
Stalled at an unwelcoming inn where i laid myself bruised and bare to a lover temporarily transformed to a stranger after i let the truth languish, vanquished by the uncertainty of resolved and fear or wounding the occasionally innocent.
She walked out vested, blithely, pithy saying “I know” unwittingly perhaps offering just enough loft to push a tattered sail across a colour-coded sea mis-named as somewhere calm.
The explorer hides. Alone, entirely lost and surrendered to fates incomprehensible to the battered. Uncontrollable b y the hostage. Yet clinging to an adrenaline determination to manufacture strength to another foray.
Monk-like, minus faith, discipline, dogma or skill at ringing bells, relying on rice gruel and fragrant hope, the cartographer gathered charcoal, fired for unsteady hands, and a redrew boundaries to conceive an entirely new Pangea with concessions to speculate, plunder and chart assigned exclusively to only two.
Of course i wanna change the world, not just ‘my’ world but ‘the’ world. Not force *anyone* to do *anything* but maybe somehow effectuate positive change on a global scale. Not by guns, torture, fascism or force but by walking sticks, paintbrushes, backpacks. Not 2 cars in every driveway but 2 warm lovers in every bed. Model behaviour of what i want to be and see in the surroundings lands.
All naïveté aside… While i do long for squadrons of mercenaries clad in corduroy-patchwork pants armed, with Thoreau and flowers – sleeping bags & kind words, i do realize, “Oh shit! Sounds like M0rm0n missionaries with different books.”
If i miss you though, do not take any reason for concern from my thoughts. You are scintillating and mighty and I do not question *anything* that you do – i express my sentiments to quell your fears of loneliness and/or longing and confusion during your search for well… what you seek: love, beauty, nobility and thrill.
Note: This story uses several lines from the fine Canadian band, Blue Rodeo’s album “Diamond Mine” which served as a departure point so to speak. Cheers to them ‘eh.
Mostly now, I just masturbate. I’m not particularly attracted to my own sexuality or body, but a questionnaire I filled out in Cosmopolitan magazine said it would be both beneficial, and enjoyable. In this day and age, it’s not unclean or unruly, they said. There were also suggestion tips.
This fondling is mostly on account of my man being back in Florida. I do keep it under control however, I certainly don’t want to prefer it. I haven’t ever used foreign objects in my arousals, I’ve heard too many stories about women having problems. I would prefer to keep my private parts clean and in fine working order. Barry would agree, him being my man and all, and an arousing one at that.
I proceed with this round-up trepidatiously as i tend to look forward to what’s next and try to temporarily forget recent projects once complete. Also, i am (somewhat) hesitant to ramble on about myself (sorta). But, as a note to future self, and for a record of gratitude, here is an endlessly incomplete collection of events, incidents and anecdotes from this past year (pardons in advance for any omissions).
Interested in any of these topics? Rather than me including the handy links (like i probably should), i encourage you to poke around and discover the artifacts and collections about any topics, adventure, project listed… doing so will allow me to share this sooner and move onto the next thing (plus *everything* would end up linked).
I’ll also include a few meditations and manifestations for the 2011 so you can ask me, “hey dave, how’s it going with those things you mentioned you’d do in 2011?”
The other day, i recorded a wee festive video messages to say thanks for letting me participate in your life and thanks for being part of mine:
Healing: Abdominal surgery (2nd in years), challenging recovery was significantly aided by kindness and traditional Chinese Medicine (thanks Drs. Trauben & Ying & Nagy)– tried to enjoy films during recovery but, due to pain, watched WW2 movies and documentaries to feel camaraderie from injured comrades
Speaking: Shared my stories on stages including… Pecha Kucha (Fck Stats, Make Art, remix’d), Word Camp Vancouver (Art and Tech) – thanks Duane/Dale/Johnx2/Rebecca, Social Media Camp Victoria (for day-job), plus lecturing classes at BCIT, and TNMH spiels at Capilano University 2x, Fresh Media (also a podcast lecture at this one i think… ) – Also Northern Voice video about finding voice/creativity, etc. – thanks for Andrew Lavigne, Julie Szabo, Monica Hamburg and all who showed up to watch while i lay upon a davenport
Wrangling: True North Media House – survived the tension and negativity to create a social movement of documentation, reporting, funtimes, internationalizing and explore the issues about modern media and global mega-events… from prosestors to journalists, we didn’t fit in anywhere but ended up “being” a story. Interviews/coverage in PBS Media Shift, CBC Radio multiple times, and dozens of other outlets
Internationalizing: Also Olympics in general as a fan saw a handful of freaking awesome hockey games hanging with my face people drinking tall cans in parks, meeting visitors, finding new pubs and parks, riding the bus with happy people, hugging strangers
Documenting: Along the way, i created a bucket load of Olympic Outsider podcasts on-the-go with instant publishing to bring all of you along
Documented: The With Glowing Hearts filmmakers followed me around for much of the above and combined my story with others to make a remarkable soliloquy about a city in change and various approaches to dealing with it
Awarded: Choogle On awarded 3rd place (4th kinda) in Georgia Straight’s Best of Vancouver which is kinda neat. Made a few more episodes (though many are hidden currently)
Yup, always on the go… here’s where (and of course there are podcasts from the trips so you can come along in my backpocket):
Austin for SXSW for the 3rd time – getting more local, finding face cafes, greenbelts with yoga tattoo artists, hidden bars and bar-b-ques. hectic fun hanging with industry luminaries where you can’t tell the millionaires from the bankrupt. Also made podcasts to detail the nuances and form an audio quest guide for rookies and chooglers. also broken leg cyborg rescue mission – cheers to John Biehler, Nadia, Flanders, Amber Case and Dave Delaney + Pugz and Laurie
Toronto including Hockey Hall of fame for 1 rapid hour, wandering new streets, cafes and bars – Canada is different there but some charming people amongst the bustle and smoke
Seattle to Subpop meeting superhero: Mudhoney’s Mark Arm, enjoying the backroom tour and going home with a box of CDs (thanks Dean for making it happen)
Festivaling: Komasket Music fest interviews with great bands and enjoyed vibe of small time fest (see also articles in Vancouver observer) shisha tents with tea, lake canoes paddles, redemption song outdoors, couch green room “backstage” – note: Bocephus King is giant and enjoys swimming. Extra thanks Kazia and “Family Man” Barrett
Roadtripping: Trip to Nelson for Christmas Day lighthouse ferry ride, soaking in a hot springs cave, local organic Nelson beer in a haunted hotel and snowy day drives + met harp/hashman Xomaha. Made a video to tell you i like ya (above) – plus a stop at Duhkabour museum (near Castlegar) in search of Draft dodger statue (a story for another time ( someone wanna fund my trip and article?))
Writing: Along with meta coverage, interviews, and miscellany, articles and essays abounded! including pieces in:
RAIN – an interview and art piece about my personal artistic journey
Vancouver Observer – dossiers about the inaugural SeaBus voyage, summer festivals, train travel and Remembrance day ++
Megaphone – Let’s Get Lost, a tour of forgotten Vancouver counter-culture landmarks
Inside Vancouver – Vancouver Tourism featured vancouverite sharing my fave activities, places and tips
Exode – Serialized Letters from Russia (in a stylish manner)
Granville (Varley forthcoming) – this is a big one which is a true labor of affection
+ Blogging: was “official” blogger (along with Bob from VIAwesome) at TEDX Vancouver and documented a bucket full of talks including Nardwuar and Josh Fox
Culturing: Going the Opera – twice(!) including a contemporary Canadian opera and a more trad Italian preceded by rainy night fun with draft beer and raclette at German festive market with Chris and Cinci
Meeting: Getting friendly with the CBC Radio 3 crew – admire/enjoy what they do + props to Grant Lawrence for book/tour/blog/etc.
Rocking: DOA at Anti-Olympics show with KK, Bev et al, with me in lanyard, pins, Canadian flags and assorted spangles at the Rickshaw – see also: Misfits with mon ami Scales – UPDATE: Vampire Weekend outside Malkin Bowl with a spiked bubble tea
Partying: UW 40 party with so many friends, a whole pig and endless beer and tropical drinks the next morning in the wrecked campground – also a skunk & many fine ales for later – special thanks to analog lisa and R&B Brewing – So pleased Bev Davies came and gave me a treasured gift
Officiating: Conducted a wedding (for Kemp and Sheila) and wrote a celebratory prose with influences from Walt Whitman to Gibran to Chili Peppers
Transcending: Levon Helm with brother Dan on a perfect night with a perfect buzz and all time hero with surprises including Elvis Costello. Also, during Olympics, watched Wilco rock a long, sophisticated set in a drizzly park – really started the good feelings as fireworks reflected in Yaletown and so on… (many other bands included The Stills again)
Camping: Owl Creek Howl year 3 – sitting in stream, beers around lantern during fire ban and making funny-ish videos for Lt. Magnum with Scales and Mariska
Sporting: (drunken) Whitecaps games, (expensive) Canucks hockey, BC Lions at Empire with Dad and brother) and baseball parks around BC including Vancouver Island
Exploring: I was on the bridge for the new SeaBus’ inaugural voyage along with my pal Miss604 – took a week to stop smiling (or was this last year?), Culture Crawl to Boris and Rachel’s, day-trips aplenty to hidden neighbourhoods and dozens of walks on the Varley trail
Sunsetting: Possibly last trip to Olympia for some time. Cashed in Last Word Book credit and last coffee card on a iced chai after a hardworking weekend winding down Zhonka office with Unabonger
Remembering: Observed Remembrance Day at Japanese Cenotaph at Stanley Park with co-conspirators KK, Trauben and Lis. Followed by rainy hike and plenty beers to the Legion hall for Lt. Magnum (now Commander) Brother who made it back and forth to Afghanistan safely – chance to record some fun videos and learn more about contemporary military life and culture (see also: podcast and Vancouver Observer article)
Celebrating: My pal Derek kicked cancer’s ass for another year and i went to his birthday party and danced in his parent’s swinging party room
Visting: Maddog Maccarthy, international man of silicon up from Pacifica for Greek food and Lendog up from PDX for whirlwind hockey and beers and buddy Banghi up for CDN Thankgiving (it’s a tradition) with giant bottle of Bishmills in tow
Working: You prob know i have a wicked job at which i work hard and experience personal satisfaction and significant results and enjoy collaborating with many dear colleagues – i also appear frequently in podcasts, interviews, articles etc. discussing the concerns of the company and observations of the industry but you can find those on your own
Friending: I started a list of all the people i didn’t already explicitly mention… but this will take all day so i’m taking a hike… consider yourself admired
Words & Music: This is where i’d tell you what i read and listened to but skipping this too…
2011 is bound to be full of surprises, but there are many things i must do personally to ease my mind (i.e. taxes and biz and exercise), and many i am so eager to do to fill my soul (writing, making), and many which fit in-between (web remaking, archiving).
Here are most:
Shut down Zhonka gently – tough one and overdue
Do my taxes early and pay off CRA
Establish new web *everything* – it’s all a mess, all of it
Archive all podcasts (and release purchasable collections?) – related to above, move audio to archive.org
Participate in a sport(s)/activities frequently (snowshoeing, x-country skiing, trail running, tai chi, inline hockey, swimming)
Attend SXSW music as well as interactive
Refresh wardrobe (new thrift store shirts/pants (possibly in Austin, Texas)
Make a quilt from old t-shirts
Get to know Vancouver Archives, Museum of Vancouver, Vancouver Art Gallery
Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Give me a hand won’t you – especially with the pleasant parts. UPDATE: Need to see a dentist multiple times and aim to drink more water.
Next big projects: Revisit the Festival Express remix of a train trip across Canada teaching about wonders of personal expression and media; begin Ole Dead Gramps audio remix project (maybe); revisit Clayoquot Rainforest Dispatches to include others’ stories; make Bev. Davies interview into something.
The mighty power of web publishing should not be taken lightly. Traditionally, for stories to reach an audience required navigating layers levels or publishers, printers, editors, distributors but with WordPress, anyone can spread stories to a worldwide audience, instantly, for almost free. Awesome! But do you deserve this power? Of course you do – as long as you make something remarkable.
To make your work rise to the top requires diligent honing of your craft – from writing to photography. Writer and documentarian Dave Olson (AKA uncleweed) will offer reasons to push yourself to create art, as well as share practical methods for finding inspiration and following through to publication.
By exploring other forms of grassroots publishing, and exploring real-life WP examples, you’ll leave with a keen sense of your place in the history of personal expression, and a renewed vigour for making your best stuff ever.
‘From Greeks to Geeks’ or ‘Are You Worthy?’ http://uncleweed.com/ Dave Olson (@uncleweed) gave a mind-blowing presentation at NerdCamp Whister (AKA WordCamp) about censorship, copyright, content creation, history, beauty, art, and the internet. These 5 videos are the 5 10 minute segments from his talk. If someone wants the pieces to string together please let me know and I’ll get them in your hands.
Dave Olson ended the day with his talk and had the entire audience hanging on his every word. He invited people to sit up front and close since he wasn’t using the projector…and lots did. It was a great session to end the conference