{Because I’m completely over the moon in love with this kid} here are 3 more snapshots + 1 video, ergo:
1) Gong Show trading cards waiting since 1970s to be opened
2) box of my childhood knick-knacks he loves digging through
3) Russian piggy bank full of global coins (new drums in bg)
Bonus: saturday breakfast time with scrambled egg and fruit yogurt breakfast (coffee for me, honey milk for him) before heading out for activities
Everything new is old again / axe handles
My dear Dad passed on on this day (3:30 AM PST at home in Surrey BC, I was on the Night Shift holding his hand), 2014.
Yesterday I’m holding my boy Ichiro Stanley while his mother sings in an afternoon across the Pacific in Japan.
In a minute-ish will get up, drink coffee (Ichi is grinding beans), wear the red velvet rope he insists upon and make scrambled eggs for us 3.
Later we’ll sharpen knives, then we’ll go out to the kura barn and set up a drum set.
Two months from yesterday, we 3 will ride a big jet liner and make our way to light incense and maybe leave an orange at his marker.
So we go on, oh how we go on.
Axe Handles
BY GARY SNYDER
One afternoon the last week in April
Showing Kai how to throw a hatchet
One-half turn and it sticks in a stump.
He recalls the hatchet-head
Without a handle, in the shop
And go gets it, and wants it for his own.
A broken-off axe handle behind the door
Is long enough for a hatchet,
We cut it to length and take it
With the hatchet head
And working hatchet, to the wood block.
There I begin to shape the old handle
With the hatchet, and the phrase
First learned from Ezra Pound
Rings in my ears!
"When making an axe handle
the pattern is not far off."
And I say this to Kai
"Look: We'll shape the handle
By checking the handle
Of the axe we cut with—"
And he sees. And I hear it again:
It's in Lu Ji's Wên Fu, fourth century
A.D. "Essay on Literature"-—in the
Preface: "In making the handle
Of an axe
By cutting wood with an axe
The model is indeed near at hand."
My teacher Shih-hsiang Chen
Translated that and taught it years ago
And I see: Pound was an axe,
Chen was an axe, I am an axe
And my son a handle, soon
To be shaping again, model
And tool, craft of culture,
How we go on.
* Artifact: Resume of Lorne H. Olson (aka Dr. O)
* Annotations About Dad, Dr. Lorne H. Olson
Ichiro, 2-1/2 so filled with curiosity and yes, he’s definitely exploring his limits, testing his boundaries, expressing himself for what he wants, trying to make his own path and pushing back a little bit… That’s all normal if sometimes a little bit rocky.
He’s such a cheerful happy boy 99% of the time & he loves music (listening, singing, playing), working vehicles (from excavators to airplanes).
He’s learning two language codes, we read loads of books, he’s very particular about his outfits, loves having mama papa baba jiji all around him (as such, sometimes forgets that he’s just not a miniature adult).
He knows we’re heading to Stanley Park this year, loves telephones and video calls and cameras. His favorite movies by far are “the country Bears” and “Isle of dogs”. Both excellent selections. He really likes the soundtracks of both as well as “Iron & Wine” Jack Johnson’s soundtrack from Vurious George and the Supremes, especially “stop, in the name of love”.
These days he’s not as enamored with bath time as he was (but still every night a proper hot bath), nor pre-school (its not daycare) but really there’s a lot of extra days off anyway because of the C 19 situation.
He loves working outside in the garden alongside mom, messing around with art supplies in the barn studio with dad, and cleaning out the woodstove and setting the fire.
PS Did I tell you about his first proper barber chair haircut?
There’s always more to say, and I’m always trying to be a better papa, despite my physical limitations due to the illness.
I’m slowly learning that just being present with him and being patient, making sure not to lose my temper, and inviting him to make decisions and to go with me on the most minor of errands – like taking out the trash or going to the post office or just to the postbox is so important.
Haircuts day at a “lost in showa” barber / first time for Ichi-Stan in the chair (usually mom snips him up at home).
*Both of us* look less like eccentric time traveling professors now.
Barber was a great sport (and has a majestic head of hair himself).
wiped me out, so back home in bed, but hey, we got it done.
{Included some snapshots of the “ambience}
I have some annotations about the well-stocked shelves of yellowing, manga graphic novels, the instant coffee station and ashtrays, the reverse clock (so you can see the correct time in the mirror), and the fading framed photos of Mount Fuji left over from when his dad was the barber… but in all, the shabby chip board counters, the cigarette butts in the arm ashtrays, the forgotten magazines, the broken couch, no cash register (cash on the table only), a few pamphlets for his preferred political candidates, no reservations, needed nor accepted, a squeaky door, a rack of drying towels outside… all contrast with his well-maintained clippers and variety of scissors and the well practiced routine of draping over the smock, tilting the chair just right for washing your hair, straight razor clean up around the edges and ears felt all usually left to another time.
Everything old was new again / same as it ever was, same as it never was.
Glasses: my super cool vintage clubman glasses are broken after some roughhousing with kid (and also from being old) / back up pair gives headaches & delicate. This means, going to spectacle shopping again. Yes, I’ve spent approximately 14% of my lifetime earnings on glasses.
My back-up pair (purchased in Victoria) never quite dialed in with lenses maybe because wide-ish and so my don’t call me lazy left eye is always pulling to the side ?? the frames were bought with insurance meaning came from the “b-pile” and are flimsy :(
Circumnavigation: Progress on my poetry book project has kind of stalled out due to some logistical complications of broken spectacles. That said, I did a tremendous amount of work getting a new routine going for transcriptions and definitely have a foundation laid as I’ve sorted out my concept.
Visitor: And, hey! we have our first foreign tourist guest coming tomorrow since the “before times“ (we had another international guest but technically on a business visa).
So, i’ll take bus into city to meet up > streetcar to lunch with a view of the castle > coffee in the park > bus back to the house, wife will probably make tea, check out barn studio ++ make a woodstove fire nabe (stew) pot with duck meat. Mac the goat farmer & in-laws will join the festive board.
Specs: Ordered new glasses from a very specialized optometrist with a store started by his great grandfather in the 1800s, yes, 130 years ago. Also had an interesting assortment of clocks/watches and a Yamaha hi-fi similar vintage to mine. Head spinning from all the eye tests. Now home in bed resting.
Ole Eye guy put me through extensive battery of tests. Optometrist, ophthalmologist, opticians etc. are always fascinated/amused/amazed by my eyes. Left eye w/ astigmatism and surgery, is my weak eye but also dominant. Eyes constantly switch back-&-forth but never work in tandem.
Selection of frames was certainly * not fantastic* but over 50 years of doing this, I’m good at sorting through and finding something unique, utilitarian and features my pretty face rather than specs. Also smart enough to know chasing around to different stores is fools errand.
PS grew up wearing “executive bifocals” with heavy glass lenses with straight across lines like maybe your grandpa rocked. As such, I truly celebrate all advancements in optical technology. Lenses are so much lighter and thinner now. But still hard getting “centerpoint” dialed in
Have a week to wait for manufacture (incredible variety of coatings, filters and customizations possible now, not to mention the thinness of the lenses!) and then these two will retire to the crate of disused soldiers. Sigh. $10000s spent on finicky eyes. Skimping is unwise.
i used to donate old glasses until the opticians & eye doctors told me “don’t bother, nobody is going to be able to use these, nobody” / maybe eventually will make a spectacle spinning mobile.
Park and Trucks (and cheese): While I was doing my thing at the old-timey optical, my darlings hit up a park for a session & a snack.
Now one of them is snoring next to me :)
Tea ceremony: In another topic, my darling wife went to a special ceremony tea today // she was the only one they are under probably 70 years old… They all adore her for carrying on the tradition of making tea, rocking kimono etc. She came home with all sorts of treats including yuzu miso(!)
this little selfie snapshot hardly does her justice but I just love that she keeps me in the loop with her activities when she’s out and about.
Oh here is wagashi:
She’s gonna host her own tea ceremony here at the house this month… I really look forward to her doing more in the future… {Now if we can just get that land and make our own tea house & garden hmmm}
I also told preschool wanna be Santa Claus again this year but have to make a few changes. Last year was lots of loud music, bright lights as well as 1-on-1 interaction with the kids which basically gave me a virus salad that laid me out for a month and a half. :( #delicate
Letters: Two absolutely fantastic and heart-touching pieces of mail today from domestic correspondents, yep, from inside dear Japan archipelago from folks “met” here on beleaguered Twtr. Just read both and a little bit spun out by the thoughtfulness and candidness.
New Year Cards: In a sorta semi-related topic: going to try to keep nengajyo / New Year’s cards to 100 domestic and 100 international this year. Ordering the “special magic number“ ¥63 stamps for domestic + ¥70 stamps for international as post office doesn’t generally have sufficient stock.
Anyhow, I’ve ordered the New Year’s cards and really looking forward to sharing with you.
The “usual“ in that there’s fantastically cute picture on the front and quirky poetry and stamp art on the back / but you know, sort of different, I guess :-) the thing that’s different this year is did them all digital and outsourced printing. previous years made all analog and printed at home running through cartridges and making extra complicated this year is a tiny bit more clip arty but will all be hand-addressed/finished w/ <3
The previous “Linda Lindas/Insta“ and “Time Travelers“ and *pink collage* were pretty solid. I hope it makes its way to your refrigerator with a very nice magnet.
The photo we are using this year has been circulated before but was just too good to pass up the chance for a print run with it :-) #hint
Lit mags: Annnnnd I finally received the poster for my Paris Review subscription (which i bought instead of renewing NHL live :)) / glad it was properly shipped in a tube as well
I really love getting high-quality print magazines in the mail. Alas, the postage to Japan often makes us a little bit expensive for a pensioner like me but still…
As for Ichiro: 29 months old now, really understanding he’s learning “two codes“ with a different languages/ we’re reading Tintin books (among many others) and in the bath he asks me to do voices for Snowy, Tintin and Captain Haddock (“Blistering barnacles! Thundering typhoons!“)
Easier: Nov 26 Dear Wonders, Caught up dishes and laundry, and took out compost. Plus had a pleasant phone conversation and transcribed one draft poem. Now resting in bed eating a dried persimmon. “Things are gonna get easier…“ Ty, dvo
Bonus:
Briefly: Evidence of us doing the Halloween rounds this afternoon / including the magnificent Taroman pumpkin shriveling into repose & our “bare minimum yet very effective” costumes of a ragtag baseball squad
The neighborhood has four “official” trick-or-treat stations, specifically available from 1 PM till 2:30 PM.
After hitting up a couple, I pulled out the pumpkin to the stoop, set up a lawn chair and added chaos into the well-ordered routine with spontaneous station number five while my darling duo hit up a couple of others, returning beaming with treats while I am a few twizzlers lighter after visits by a young surgeon (with stethoscope and spectacles in his pocket), a young police officer, a couple of cats, a little bear, and a few middle-age neighborhood guys shutting down the other stations.
Noting that station number one had a great persimmon tree and issued scissors to bring a few of these wonderful fruit home which look like tiny little pumpkins. We use them all sorts of ways including my fermented vinegar.
The nice lady there took a snapshot of the three of us & the husband there asked when we’re having another baby 🙂
Really nice to see a little bit of liveliness in the neighborhood after, you know… “all of this“ / glad to be able to chitchat with folks as I’m still a bit of a mystery in the area but Ichiro is clearly famous(!)
Diary notes, new week ahoy:
Oh noes, Ichiro has a bit of a fever, not super high but too high for the nursery school protocols 😞 we enjoy being careful. really.
Mondays are grocery delivery and “garbage out” day, plus I have a huge stack of cardboard to break down, mostly from ordering records even though “and really try not to order a lot of records“ / In other words, I’m really not good at not buying records.
This month, November, my “big project” is to assemble a poetry book so going to tidy up the studio, set up a standing desk bench and work along with that for a few hours every day as possible in between hospitals and other tasks.
As such, I will slow down on my “clearing out the backlog of the creative life archive” project for the time being but still post occasionally diaries and updates from the poetry project.
And continue to fam a little flame of the Kerouac in Kobe campaign (You’ve seen the video right? Read the interview? Seen the video about the interview about the video?)
The project is long overdue and I want to make it “for Stanley” – reminding myself to not worry about the design, publishing, distribution etc. until after I have a manuscript made just how I want to make it.
Will be a mix of freeverse poetry pulled from journals, diaries, scrapbooks (mostly from the recent “missing years” but a few other eras which fit in), plus maybe some snippets from letters, diary musings, and what not. Sort of an almanac of personal archaeology.
For starters: a few tasks to get my studio set up for writing project, ergo:
(File under) Environment:
I’ve got a whole plan written down, even printed it out, have records on standby, talked to the family and have some meal prep in the freezer done.
This might not all happen, life has a way of getting in the way especially with “the illness” but intentions are powerful and here we are.
So we go on…
[update: As for the kiddo, he hit up the doctor, got some medicine, fever still sort of rising and got yet another C 19 test. Resting now. I feel like I’ve seen this movie before.]
[update, again: leg support installed on the bench successfully, a bit of sweeping and rearranging, tea tray assembled, groceries delivered, groceries ordered, trash prepared, laundry sorted]
Why yes, I am very official, thank you for asking.
Entered the TinTin phase of Ichiro’s life:
Well blistering barnacles, no internationally minded youth misses out on that goodness that is Tin Tin, I have a complete collection including the “rather awkward” ones written in that *cough cough* colonial European mindset.
We’re enjoying Tintin in Tibet right now (and I’m up playing the friendship angle and downplaying the plane crash angle considering our upcoming travel at his fascination with airplanes).
Yesterday, after seitai, we stopped at a secondhand shop to purchase a couple more dining room chairs, shelf and whatnot… The secondhand stores here are really fantastic and we furnished our house in our eclectic style thanks to these treasure troves, but the point is: There was a model ship, triple masted, vaguely like The Unicorn, on a shelf and while we were purchasing the other larger items I said “and I will take that as well!” (pretending I’m paying in US dollars so I’m getting a great deal – macro economic currency humour is great right?)
Brought it home and a little guy right away realized that it was “just like Tintin” and the Unicorn. He examined it very carefully, which was a relief because he’s at that stage were smashing things is a lot more fun :)
Speaking of: here at my “creative life archive” (fancy name for a blog) scheduled on the 31st is a photo of me doing my best to dress up as tin Tintin in the crappy suburbs in probably 1978, my glasses kind of ruining the whole thing and spent the night trying to explain to people who I was… people would say “Rintintin the dog?” I would roll my eyes and sadness/discussed and stumble away with my crappy candy wishing i could go live in some exotic land.
Also at this aforementioned “don’t call it a blog“ is field notes from a Hergé museum exhibit in Quebec city with loads of his original sketches but even better for me, ephemera, his supplies, kit bag, inspiration items all that kind of stuff. Have you seen it? I mean I expect everyone has seen every post that I put out there so I mean, you must have :-) geez, there is even a [TinTin Fun category]
Photographic Evidence
Picked up 2 family studio portraits (1 of the three of us and 1 of wife as a young girl with mother, father and younger brother) we had matted, edged (filleted?), framed and holy smokes, so great! Fancy times & so worth it. Going to make a gallery on a wood panel wall soon.
One is the three of us is from the “time traveler“ series a couple years ago / matted with burgundy, gold edge and carved up wood frame and looks quite Taisho era: mysterious and majestic.
The wife & in-laws photo has kind of a mirror image pose with “lost in Showa” beige vibes + kimono splash. Both F-i-L and I have rather “serious/neutral” expressions, both photos have baby feet and Mothers with Fujii-family trademark short-cut hair.
Will hang up soon and will look so great. Next up: photo shoot with Grandparents and us all together… so we go on #AxeHandles
Hospital Switcheroo
Not of particular interest to anyone but, for the record: Finished hopefully-last visit to the “big city hospital” it’s shiny and efficient however from now, the diligent if a-bit-worn Okayama University Hospital with their MECFS program is my primary point of contact and care.
Reminder of this article about MECFS in The Atlantic (i’ve printed it and taken to Doctors) by Ed Yong is really worth reading to understand a bit about the weird medical conundrums which me and many many deal with. Oh and a great recap by someone called Heather about “10 things i wish people knew about ME“.
Grateful Dead Dave’s Picks
Trying *not* to buy too many records of late due to impending trip (more later) but the new “Dave’s Picks” Grateful Dead is from the Eugene 1990 shows, ergo:
Also Neal Casal “Illuminations for the Dead” which was made special for the set break music at the Grateful Dead 50th anniversary shows – instrumental, ethereal, atmospheric – but sadly Neal packed it in shortly thereafter :(
And Dan Mangan’s new offering “Being Somewhere” is en route, just missing “Postcards and Daydreams” to complete my vinyl archive including the 10 year reissues for “Nice Nice Very Nice” and “Oh Fortune”
Also listening to Television (as discussed in recent “Rock and Beat Generation” video – piqued by great article in The Ringer by Elizabeth Nelson, ergo:
Aside: Need to re-up my cardigan stash with 2+ decent wool all-around-ers.
Current are a little bit too shabby (even for my “weary/eccentric community college prof” style) & cotton ones are quickly becoming inadequate for season.
Now, how do I do this without leaving the house?
Note: I like “aged/classic“ communication methods but what I don’t miss: long distance phone bills (remember being stiffed so many times cause i was the sucker with a Sprint card). And my seitai Dr just gifted me a classic black rotary phone! Will sit like a noble buffalo in the studio so i can call you whenever i can’t.
(pending) Book project
Pals have namechecked for #NaNoWriMo( which is awesome National Novel Writing Month campaign) but I’m not attaching my star to it because I’m physically incapable of sitting at a chair and banging out 50,000 words // my head has the stories no doubt but the body won’t cooperate so instead I’m using the month to assemble poems like Lego bricks and hide out in the barn…
It’s really also a “mental reset“ from this year of endless paperwork, I mean so much paperwork and so many hospital visits.
The good news is: the recent medication/IV routine and seasonal weather changes here have given me a little bit of a spark / Summer was brutal, typhoon season crushed what was left of my head, but now it’s chilly, crisp and sunny. So aside from a neighbour (probably 3 km away) trimming their grass requiring me to close the window, I’ve managed to patch together a couple “good days” in a row. Just writing this though I feel like I’m jinxing it. But, I’ll eat my oatmeal and head to work at a standing bench desk with records playing and probably record somekind of meta-documentation (unsurprisingly) and see how we roll on.
So, recap: Planning on spending November in the barn assembling a book of poetry, with snippets of letters, maybe some musings, prose riffs… I’m not sure yet but… Importantly, I want the book to “look and feel beautiful”.
I’m not sure what I will do for publication whether that’s self/on demand, shop it out to a boutique publisher but it’s really important to me that it’s typeset to look timeless and dammit, gorgeous and be printed on paper stock with a nice hand.
I think I will add in some black-and-white Lomo images just for atmosphere in section breaks but stay away from color so it doesn’t become an unwieldy expense for people to collect/purchase.
Mostly I just don’t want it to look like that sort of “I made this book in Word and sent it as a PDF“ typography style if you know what I mean. Margins, gutters, typefaces are all very important but I don’t really have the true skills.
Anyhow, i’m making the book for Stanley (before he heads off to sea)
Diary notes:
Rode bus into city with my 2 darlings to see an ikebana exhibit (Ryoko’s ceremony teacher had a piece on exhibit – no photos allowed) at a high floor in a department store.
“Noise pollution“ is huge problem for me even with earplugs. Ditto with flouro lighting.
Then acquired various bento/snacks and a street car ride for a picnic in the park with a friend.
Saw our funny passport photographer fellas shooting a kimono girl.
On bus ride home, a man gave us nice food.
Definitely more people out n about in city recently than previous couple of years (unsurprisingly of course).
Especially enjoy seeing other parents with similar age kids as we share a common experience of babies in this weird time.
Also many new art Installations around. {“Do we dream under the same sky” exhibition currently}
Now home resting… Was a lot for me but did it. #mecfs
Still quite warm and sunny here in Okayama. My outfit was sharp (natch ;)) but a bit too hot.
Tonight we’ll carve the pumpkin + noted community Halloween event on 10/30.
No accompanying photos. approximate location denoted.
Bonus: Triptychs of postbox and payphone (should be separate post, eventually will)
