Self Medicating with a Hobby Garden – Tokes on the Porch

Note: Originally Appeared in Heads Magazine Toke on the Porch blog January 29, 2007

I’ve spent much of the past 15 years or so moving around countries and climates and it’s rare when I am able to put down roots in one place long enough to get a grow going. While making articles and films, i’ve seen alot of killer grow houses … whole basements loaded with multiple rooms of fragrant ganja trees. I’ve seen buddies who couldn’t cheat their way through the 8th grade science fair now growing massive crops using hydro, aeroponics, soil, outdoor, geeez even growing in soil bags on net platforms high up in a redwood tree canopy (hmmm, that one sounds like an article).

The point of all this is I recently caught the growing bug and, now that I realize that any monkey who can follow some instructions can grow, I heartily encourage anyone with a taste for the chronic nuggs to invest a few hundred bucks and make a micro garden. Home-growing is especially critical for medical patients (and their caregivers) who do not have the gumption (and lawyer on retainer) for a bigscale operation and seek to avoid the hassle and mystery of hooking up with a vendor.

Two things were holding me back along with my lack of location: 1) my lack of a green thumb (really I am not a plant whisperer) and, 2) the legal hassle risk asscoiated with me being rather “intentionally indiscrete” about my affection for roasting the tasty flowers.

Sure, I’m not one of these dudes activating since 1972 or something. But, I do publish articles, books and films using my own name (which is usually listed in the phone book ’cause I am too cheap to spend the extra money to unlist it), plus photos abound of me enjoying an Amsterdam lifestyle and roasting all over my beloved Vancouver, and I manage to make it into the mainstream media from time to time.  I’ve been to jail and prefer my couch, but me showing that a dude can toke aplenty and still get stuff done.

Sure high-rollers figure anything under 500 plants is a waste of time, but I am talking 3-6 plants which is plenty to keep the most enthusiastic of tokers well supplied with their faves. No more wondering if your neighborhood dealer just made up the name “Polar Ice” or if you are really smoking (or vapeing in my case) G-13 or NL5 or Amnesia Haze (mmm), … you know what’s going into your lungs cause you grew it! Again, really important for medical needs which demand specific characteristics for medication.

All this is old news for many (special thank you to all the excellent growers out there and f%$&k you to all the schwag producers), but those of you who are wondering how to get started can listen to my experience in a recent podcast “Purple Kush Micro Growtime” – a wee story of me and a beautiful girl who came to my house to visit (and is now curing in a mason jar).

You’ll find if you start with good genetics, build a clean and controllable environment and provide proper nutrients and light, you’ll be growing weed as fine as you see in the pages of Heads (well maybe on your second try anyhow ;-).

Analysis from an Oilers fan … (belatedly posted but enjoyable nevertheless since the Nucks had just waxed the Oil)

Dear Canucks Outsider,

I wasn’t able to call from the game, but I thought typing a brief recap of the tonight’s live game.

In my educated, first-hand opinion, I submit that the only two things that impeded Edmonton tonight were offense and defense.  If they would have added those two components to their game, they would have closed the door on your precious Canucks.

I thought that the Oilers showed off the spirit of giving that largely resides among the residents of Alberta by freely giving the puck away to the Canucks time and time again.  The goalie was kind enough to allow the Canucks offense to enjoy free reign on the back of his net, to boot.  In fact, he stepped aside multiple times to watch the shots sail in.  Fortunately, he was able to get his defensive cohorts on-side with the theme of “give them every chance possible”; and they refrained from hitting, brushing, or simply acting unseasonly towards the Canucks.  Any fights you saw were figments of your imagination, just like the two roughing calls against the Oilers in the third, which I am convinced the refs conjured in their minds because, you know, Canucks needed those extra power plays.

In the beginning moments of the second period, following the Canucks’ second goal, I began rehearsing my brush-off story (how I’d explain this one without looking like a dufus for liking the Oilers); but by the end, I felt like I couldn’t avoid looking like a dufus for liking the Oilers after this game.  Oh well . . .

My team lost.  They have now lost three in a row, while your team won their third in a row.  Based on the number of goals in the last week, one may even conclude that the Canucks have learned how to score.  Who’d have thunk that would happen this season!?!  Next thing you know, they’ll score as many as the offensive powerhouse Phoenix (8-0 over San Jose)!

As I write this I’m sort of stalling before I come to a conclusion in hopes that I can come up with my aforementioned brush-off story.  However, on this very night, based on that three-stooges performance, I am a dufus for liking the Oilers instead of the Canucks.  You know, the Oilers, right?  Yeah, the ones that made the playoffs last year and went to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final while the Canucks were sitting around, trimming their pretty goatees, talking about how they could only beat the Oilers once last year.

Not a sore loser,
Reliable Jim


Tokes on the Porch live at Heads marijuana lifestyle magazine

Regular readers know that i write stories and articles, sometimes ending up in magazines and usually having something to do with hemp cannabis and related lifestyle.

Heads and cannabis nugs

Most recently, i’ve fostered a relationship with Heads magazine (based in Quebec) who produce comfortably polished and enjoyable tome which i am pleased to be a wee part of (recent articles are “Zen Rambling in Japan” and “Rebagliati Positive for 2010.”

Continuing on my recent post about Longboard Hockey, i’ve hoisted a few article outtakes and some teaser samples of KK‘s tasty pics up to my shiny new Head’s blog “Uncle Weed’s Toke on the Porch.”  Bread the Producer made a sweet header from a snapshot from Palau on one of the finest days i’ve ever lived.  Fat doobs and palm trees in one of the remotest corners of the world (really, try to find Pelilui on a map).

Anyhow, here’s a snippet to get ya excited …

On the stuffed elevator ride to the 6th floor, before I can pull the fattie of Chocolate Jack Herer from behind my ear, a smiling chick in blond pigtails and a Team Canada jersey sparks a beauty doobie.

Turns out she’s The Bloods’ goalie Natasha getting in another run before playing her former team, the North Shore Slashers after they finish off the Shitmix.  She doesn’t seem insane yet she eagerly faces wildmen firing beer cans at her head, “It’s nuts out there, there are no rules, everyone should try it.”

BTW, The story of my Micronesian trips is underway (advance from a publisher is welcome) and i’ll likely fire up a podcast on those exploits soon too.  In the meantime, subscribe to Heads for the glossy nuggy pics and engaging reading for your head.

Purple Kush Micro Growtime ~ Choogle On! #36

A curious Christmas gift of a budding ganja plant gets Uncle Weed making a micro grow environment for a purple kush plant. He assembles the light mogul and reflector shield and talks about metal halide and high pressure sodium bulbs, the mystery of ballasts and nutrients plus other useful grow show tidbits learned at Jon’s Plant Factory (on Hastings in Burnaby just past Boundary). Plus talks about a hookahs from Baghdad and Moorish musings from a Tetaria in Granada, Espana.

Download Choogle On! with Uncle Weed #36 (32:05, 29.5MB, .mp3)

Subscribe to the Choogle on feed or Chillaxin feed or in iTunes

Choogle on with Uncle Weed #36

Music snippets:

Glorious bud - purple kush cannabis bud
Purple Kush budding

Ganaj bud nugget purple kush
Purple Kush Flowers

Ganaj purple kush
Purple Kush Bud

Gloria's new home purple kush ganja grow
Purple Kush Growing

Light fixture
Light Hood at Jon’s Plant Factory

Reverend Bob on God Refined…

My amigo Bob has completed his book “God Refined: A Proposal for Peace” and is in process of spreading the word to the public at large.   Being a strict indifferentialist, i abhore religion-induced dogma – fortunately Bob approaches his philosophy with a rejection of guilt, dogma and any cosmic speculation which seeks to bring some people down.

Here’s his press release announcing the book including a link to grab a free e-version or buy a paperback for your thoughtful consideration.  You can also check out Bob’s emerging blog “Urantia Writer” and photostream (featuring pics of Spanish beaches with peaceful folk) to get to know this remarkable dude.



Local author relates God, science, and personal responsibility to global peace.

EUGENE, OR – JANUARY 9, 2007 – With God Refined: A Proposal for Peace, Robert Kezer answers what may be our most important question: Can the average person make a difference in the world, or are we destined to a future beyond our control – one of increasing war, environmental destruction, and disparity between the rich and poor?

Today, many people feel religious strife is tearing us apart. Ancient scriptures contradict logic, history, and science: fanatics rule while reason, character, and education falter. Wisdom, the combination of knowledge and experience, is often overshadowed by dogma, church imposed doctrine considered beyond human debate. Yet, rather than our spirituality destroying us, Kezer says it is what has stopped the carnage from getting worse: this, he offers, is a clue for ending the violence consuming our planet.

In God Refined, we are challenged to accept global change as personal responsibility. Kezer shows how beliefs in hell, karmic justice, and the wrath of God are fear-based ideas retarding humanity’s progress – concepts no longer reasonable for most educated people. Drawing on the Urantia Revelation, he teaches the unified nature of creation, that our relationship with God is personal, and that all religions are considered equal under the umbrella of a single sovereign Creator.

On a planet becoming ever more violent, Kezer offers the tools we need to survive. His approach is simple, direct, and compelling: abolishing war is our responsibility, not that of our leaders. Believing that crisis creates opportunity, he visualizes a new era of global community – one where women enjoy full partnership with men in all decision-making, from the family level to the world stage. Relating humanity’s evolution to individual personal growth, we are presented with a path to a higher order of existence, one from which peace can have its first true chance.

God Refined: A Proposal for Peace is offered in paperback and in a Complimentary E-book edition for those people for whom the cost would impose a hardship.

Please download your free review copy at:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Bob returned to college in 2002 pursuing a self-designed program in Peace Studies: he
graduated in 2006 with bachelor’s degrees in International and Religious Studies from the University of Oregon. Working to become bilingual so he can also present in Spanish, he writes and speaks on God, religious tolerance, and our tools for abolishing war. Bob has one adult son and lives in Eugene, Oregon.

God Refined: A Proposal for Peace by Robert A. Kezer
2006. First Edition. 6 x 9; 60 pages. ISBN:
978-0-6151-3810-7. Available through bookstores and in
paperback ($12.99 + p&h), e-book ($6.98), and
complimentary download at:
Publication Date: 1 March 2007. Thank you.

Hockey Day Lambasting of the Leafs – Canucks Outsider #47

During CBC’s Hockey Day in Canada, Dan Funboy and Dr. O join Dave Thorvald to discuss the Canucks’ recent success, All-star game voting formats, and Leafs fans, before enjoying the Canucks 6-1 win over the Toronto squad. They also reminise about old time hockey in Regina and the impact of NHL players on Canadian towns while enjoying the coverage from Nelson to Tigsnit.

Download Canucks Outsider podcast episode #47 (23:30, 22MB, .mp3)

canucksoutsider-47Subscribe to Feed and/or in iTunes

Music snippets from:

“New Years” from “Citrus” by Asobi Seksu
Friendly Fire Recordings Buy at iTunes Music Store

Randy Bachman Band “Prairie Town” (from live on KISW)

Oh Canada – recorded by DaveO at:

  • Dalai Lama citizenship ceremony, GM Place, singer unknown, Summer 2006
  • Canucks vs. Buffalo, GM Place 2005(?), Richard Loney (rules)
  • Governor General official visit, Oslo Olympic flag ceremony, Vancouver City Hall, March 2006

Joyous Hockey Day in Canada!

Don Cherry and Ron Maclean
Don Cherry wearing my hat while Ron Maclean talks to Gilles Niewendyk (Joe’s brother) after Canada vs. Czech at SLC Winter Olympics 2002

sacred olympic artifacts



Jerry heading to Nelson for Hockey Day in Canada

My amigo Jerry is heading to Nelson for Hockey Day in Canada.  Hopefully, he’ll get to party with Ron and Don and Stanley and can provide some insightful commentary (from what he remembers after anyhow) – Here’s what he says:

This saturday

I will be going to Nelson (about 30-45 minutes away) to take part in some of the hockey day in canada festivities. It is a CBC deal where every year they pick a town to broadcast from between games. (It is a triple header day – all 3 games are Canadian teams versus Canadian teams) There will be some puck-shooting accuracy contests, a peewee junior game, a major junior game between the Nelson Leafs and the Sicamouse team (can’t remember their name) , and the part I am most excited about : you get to take your picture with The Stanley Cup! whoo & hoo! All festivities are free as well! Ron Maclean & Don Cherry will be there so I will likely see them somewhere along the way too! I am soooo excited about this. I will definitely be posting pictures of the day at some point sunday morning. This is gonna be sooo cool.


Crazy Canucks enjoying the ride in episode #15

Again, the gang’s all here to chatter about the Nucks continuing streak, tight divison races, Naslund’s slump-break, beating the Oil, faceoff improvement, PK dominance, All-star fixes, Florida’s roster, Wild coming, eastern roadtrip the Dave quota in alumni games and the forthcoming bonus holiday – Hockey Day in Canada.

Hear for yourself in 46 minutes of banter over at TCC#15 – Seventh Heaven. …  and follow these hi-jacked links for more info on the topics du jour:


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