Tag Archives: spontaneous prose

“You’re a Genius All the Time” ~ Still-life w/ Kerouac + hat, pipe, sunglasses

You’re a Genius All the Time #dealwithit Book of Jack Kerouac musings about story making, assembled and published by Chronicle Books and purchased at The Beat Museum.

As seen with paper hat, sunglasses and pipe (not included). Elsewhere.

(not sure) what the truth entails

though i am not sure what truth entails truthful which really occurred in the physical reality.  even if no one else witnessed the incident. truthful like something to believe in , something to dream something that i can hope for – though i haven’t an interest in the truth – abandon me to my illusions…

there  am driving a Plymouth Valiant with push button transmission – through decadent Richard’s street night, dreary bulbs, dreary faces i could run it all – run into the ground if the pavement would burst – yield with my pressure – the force of extraction the push of exertion breaking free until some truth is found – truth is i don’t fucking know what it is exactly that i want to find – want to do – want to be.  how to get there & how it looks and where it is * i don’t even care really i all want is for peace and thrill to coexist.

chaos and comfort simultaneously – seduction and elation – reckless and safe. my mercurial soul demands nothing less. how?

well it always just happens. a chance comes, i say ‘yes’. always yes .. “is it odd, dangerous or simple or confusing?” whichever, ‘yes, yes, yes, let’s go”  I’ve always said yes, every-time until … but am i a not rolling with the flow again? 

where is my manifest destiny? keep on climbing mountains, checking boxes, completing forms, chatting in new solar systems – always wide open to the outside – closed to the inside.  the world doesn’t get that bit of me – blahs in papers, anecdotes and interludes, yes – but the frantic sleepless stretches of self-doubt, confusion, confession, remorse, regret, these fade so quick when the mercury changes.  

i forget it all when i am able to clamber into my comfort trench … nothing interests me but when i can create, the rest of the time – i wander as caretaker of a carcass waiting for the practicalities of life to present a lapse in tension & an aligned moment where i can BE without trying.  those moments are everything and the only thing … how can i get there all the time?

to control the mental process, heart leading mind – everyday – all the day. i am not sure i care enough to find out cause it happens often as it is – but more more. only because i embrace chaos and thrive on random chance of happenstance.  always saying yes, let’s go go. but not now … and why is that that i stay i remain as i am?  where i be? behave, being just how it is? behaving? trying? struggling?  fighting the current? because this is the way I’ve always rolled. when the doors open, i rely on hunches on which to trespass.  

likely i am always wrong in logical hindsight but would i trade the experiences & random incidents for more peace? or the ability to find peace reliably?   to find the discipline to create when the circumstance dictated rather than wait, wait, struggle, pace, emotional disposal & effort to find fleeting moments of peace to make, create.  is this the moments i crave? are the creations more important than the peace? can i coexist without tempering the fire & spontaneity of what i make? is this the panacea or the pill?

Things i Seek &/or I enjoy: 1) quiet (i.e without humans, phones, cars – rivers OK); 2) rainy days with a view and nothing obligatory to do; 3) culture (new, odd, pleasant); 4) literature – still so much to read; 5) walking, strolling, hiking uphill