“I think it crawls more like a vine – Meandering here in there, occasionally finding a place to connect again, seeking light, moving horizontal, not always vertical” (maybe me, maybe someone else)
Is it a weakness that when I feel blue, I want to stretch to a corner of the world I know nothing about to soak in new inspirations, find a new spark, glean inspiration from the soil, wisdom from the sweater and elders whether they be shamans or sheepherders? Is this cowardice our salvation? My dreams are alive locations but in reality, i’m hardly strong enough for a bus trip across town.
I’ve always felt invincible going to new countries with no language, knowledge, currency, friends plans etc. but now I resort to dreams – and postcards and scribbles – my brain, once a mighty tool of writing anything from expository essays to the finest press releases to true unadulterated freeverse poetry now allows me a running dialogue which I share unashamedly with you.
In the past days, my dreams were filled with pondering ideas including: 45 day Amtrak USA pass to slowly roll and visit friends I haven’t seen in sometime; Scotland’s remote & sparse Outer Hebrides (bring a sweater but steel cut oats are abundant), Thai healing retreat (not one that is very new agey, very expensive, requires hours of silent meditation, has Friday night pub crawls but just massage several times a day, healing energy, soaking and coconuts and soups and drinks, also mangoes and papayas; Romanian hotsprings – apparently there are thousands but I’m not sure if there undeveloped, remote, resorts, or what the deal is, however, I am intrigued about Transylvania; or back to japan in Okayama where plenty of hot springs, easy access to the leanly populated Shikoku island plus the magical Kurashiki galleries laden with impressionist art just down the road.
All of these are simply conjecture and imagination.
I am incapable of great journeys by myself without significant jeopardy. So I dream. I dream of rest and peace and days in which my muscles joints and bones don’t ache like I’ve been pounded into submission all night. I dream of long night sleep without medication, I dream of waking up one day and feeling refreshed and I live I dream of being able to read a book without my eyes getting boggled and my head turning migrained.
Blerg: I am truly bored of telling you about all these things but, you signed up for the ride and you’re welcome to get off at any time. This might mean you won’t get a postcard.