AKA “the children’s TV game show incident“
In 1979 I went on a trip with mom, auntie, some variety of cousins to Salt Lake City Utah and Southern California where as I vaguely recall, we visited various church-related sites and Disneyland respectively, if not entirely respectfully… {I remember hotel room service, a brimmed hat with my name embroidered with some Disney motif but not the mouse ears, and drinking carnation whole milk, and other flourishes which weren’t usually available on our more humble family vacations yet my cousins were perfectly comfortable with ordering *shock* hotel pay-per-view movies like it was no big deal – Grease is the word after all – but that’s another story}
While in Southern California, we saw a flyer saying “Children Wanted” which rather than being a nefarious “hey kid do you want some candy and a free puppy in my van?” scheme was an opportunity for children to audition for a version of the popular TV game shows “Joker’s Wild” and “Tic Tac Dough” but for children rather than the usual adults, obviously. Both of the shows featured various trivia quiz questions and, like others of the kind were popular in our family who enjoyed one-upping with quick answers (which continued for decades)
Either which way, me and my cousin, who is about three weeks older than me, went to audition which involved an extensive written test on which I earned a near-perfect score, the one mistake something about The Mayflower, with US history being of blindspot for a kid educated in Canada, i mixed up (or maybe something to do with Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria) either way, that was my only blemish, yes I’m still holding onto that all these years later :)
There was also an interview conversation segment with a panel of adults trying to “keep it casual” with the kids, as well as some other situation putting you on a simulated set with lights… It’s all a bit foggy, I was very focused on the test
Some weeks later, back at my pedestrian toil at third grade at Harold Bishop elementary in Surrey, we received a letter inviting me to be on the show but the catch was had to pay our own transportation for the way down there *and* i needed to be accompanied by an adult. I was super excited thinking that this was my ticket to a college fund, possible fame fortune etc.
Alas, my Dad disagreed with the “investment” required to send me down there saying, “who knows, they might not actually put on the show” and “who knows, you might freeze and not get any of the answers right” or something similar – despite i pointed out, the winning being potentially unlimited and others have won $100,000 – so of course, i could a at least double the amount, easy / plus they were asking for “bright and outgoing” children and i was definitely both, truth
{somewhere here in the archive, i have the letter, pretty sure anyway, granted, it was a form letter and hardly a sophisticated contract but still, for a kid seemed like a golden ticket}
Well-laden with confidence of my pliable brain and extensive knowledge of don’t-call-it-triva facts from flipping through Encyclopedia Brittanica and National Geographic, i was convinced would do great, and even my class teacher pitched in saying he supported my ambitions, it was a no-go
[Realizing the $$ upfront and the time away for a parent i can kinda see his point but… not really, nope, not at all]
Anyway, the shows aired, i watched each one, never missed a answer, scoffed at kids as they did, winced as watched kids cheerily introduced themselves as “Billy from Ohio” or whatever knowing they were drinking Carnation milk from room service menus with club sandwiches, and scowled and groused about it for months to come – actually, as it turns out, i’m grousing about it 40 years later but anyway: what would i have done with all that money anyway? who knows what kind of disaster i coulda become and as learned, every step of my meandering life path from a handful of high schools, fistful of universities, false starts, missed steps, entrepreneur endeavors both successful and failed, one way tickets, hitchhikes, and saying “yes yes yes” all of the time, led me to where I am right now – right?
Yet, when opened a folio to see these simple flyers, brought back all the memories entirely clear
But yeah, let it go, yet flyers live forever
[And, because I’d written a letter home from “Hotel Utah” (now part of the LDS church headquarters), I was able to triangulate the date, or was i wrong? only about the Mayflower
BTW “Children Wanted” What would happen if you posted that flyer out now?
PS I also recall this incident when watching Royal Tenenbaums movie years ago and seen the precocious children pushing buzzers on TV quiz shows while adults gazed on mouth agape with wonderment at their brilliance across topics, sigh
