Diary: Hospital Blues/ Postal Therapy

Wasn’t allowed into the birthing clinic appointment today due to the fcking “situation* so sat outside and scribbled a few postcards (yes of course i had my kit with me) #postaltherapy

Note: packages cannot be sent to/received from overseas – and, as i understand, cards and letters are all going by sea due to lack of commercial flights which contract to transport mail. Ugh.

Update / Rant: Informed that i can’t be present at birth and stay at hospital as planned so are looking at options now… Really frustrating of course because we’ve done “everything right” since February but the prefectural doctor’s board just did a blanket policy change / Of course there’s no way I want to miss this experience! My *job* is to love and support my wife and hold the little dude right away

Japan is all about the “good of the community rather than individual“ and not a place to do exceptions. I’m not really sure what will happen, I had my bag packed in the room picked out to stay for for five days afterwards etc. I’ve done a lot of crying to be honest. 

I haven’t been harping on the situation or responses as we’ve been *rolling with all of it* preparing for baby, working on garden and house etc and this came like a fcking kick to the balls. 

We’ve been totally *inside the wall* aside from doctor’s appointments, and done all the planning… we actually went to the birthing hospital two months ago with our concerns about the virus to make a Plan B and talk about homebirth and ask about their precautions and all of it and when we did all the birth-day planning, it was clear that I was to be involved with everything and then stay at the hospital.

I went to all the classes (before cancellations) and everything. The stupid thing is, they’re making a blanket policy to make it “look like they’re doing something“ and this applies to the big hospitals etc. (by the way, I go to these hospitals for my appointments and we were taking precautions before they were doing anything serious) and while our little birth in clinic is a small “boutique”, it’s still “covered” under this policy

Meanwhile fckwads around Japan are going to pachinko and out and about for golden week holiday. I mean… in our local area there’s maybe 20 confirmed cases (whatever the fck that means) and it’s basically idiots who go back-and-forth to Tokyo for business and then go to like a bar, pachinko, maybe go get a j3rk off massage… So spread it around. You got to be basically dead to get a test. In Tokyo is in meltdown, and the government can “request” people stay home but there’s different messaging from every level of government and we’re just caught in the middle despite doing every goddamn thing exactly perfectly right. I mean what’s the reason for doing the safety recommendations when you get fucked over by it anyway… I mean my stupid knee-jerk reaction is to go anywhere and everywhere and do whatever the fuck I want. Of course I won’t but fuck it.

Totally taken the wind out of my sails of course. Today will try to shake out the funk by starting on the project to organize wife’s tool shed.

I was too busy being angry and grumpy yesterday. I try to remind myself that in War & peace I learned that “patience and time are our allies” and to just go with the flow on this but the thought of the wife water breaking and I just drop her off at the clinic then come home and sit and wait and eat cup ramen until I get a phone call or something seems really messed up

I’m going to remind them in all the parenting/pappa’s classes I went to, they talked about the importance of the father being there and all the importance of the support from the father etc. and the importance of bonding with the kid right away – I mean our bodies are designed for all this chemical transfer right away and I don’t want the kid to have strange reaction to me – ha. 

I mean it’s been a fantastic year and setbacks happen and all this but this is a big fcking deal to me. 

/rant

PS Ryoko seems to grow a centimetre a day. She is healthy and happy so that is all wonderful.

PS Also I’m planning to start an analog club with kids born during this weird time and make a paper kind of newsletter that’s like a time capsule that they can learn about each other and become international friends in the future. Nothing digital or online. Fanzine style, about kid’s lives, not parenting or dogma.