My ole pal Dr. Trevor “Trauben” Erikson shared a few musings about healing and kindness on his channel the other day. I am significantly moved by his reflections about my erstwhile wisdom and stashing this Thanks Trauben. Thanks so very much. ‘
Was thanked by an aging grandmother yesterday. She looked me in the eyes, hugged me and said she was grateful to me.
I was reminded of a friend’s advice to me, that somehow stands vivid amongst the fog of my adventurist past, travelling the globe in search of the better present moment.
It was either during a hike on some wilderness trail, or while dancing to some groovy tunes in the desert, or sunning on a sandy sub-tropical beach, or during a transatlantic flight from Europe, or perhaps a coffee shop in Amerstadam, or in our tent in the grape fields along the Rhine in Germany, it was certainly much before I knew it being HH the Dali Lama’s declared religion. Now this was probably gleaned from a Grateful dead lyric, I would think, although I knew my friend’s mom was definitely a walking example of this, which would have predated any travelling rock band’s lyric from entering into his head.
Anyways, it was 1992-ish, and Dave Olson looked over at me, in the lovingly charming way that he does, and said, simply, and matter-of-factly, ‘Always be kind’.
Of course. How simple. How profound.
I was reminded of this powerful declaration when this grandmother lovingly embraced me and said thank you.
This mantra is the distillation of all i’ve learned from watching others and living full-on. Realized young that to survive and thrive one must.should build community. To build community requires kindness beyond your own needs.
In the past years since my life has changed so much (due to illness) i realize again that if i hadn’t been kind (including always taking high road, always helping the young-up-and-comers with advice over coffee despite the eyerolls from other “bigtimers” who encouraged me to charge consulting hours, the showing up to help, the checking the ego, and avoiding arguments even my my fuse has run out, i would be a very lonely fella. As it goes, i’ve found help, solace and assistance when needed often from people i only foggily recall meeting but (apparently) i was kind to and provide encouragement and support. This theme of kindness is a constant in my poetry (even when my heart and body is broken) and never fails.
Also worth noting the importance of kindness when we dropped off a car to an (very large, very aggressive, very angry man) in Dallas, Texas. Obviously two impossibly skinny long hair kids couldn’t defeat with violence if we tried (!) nor would arguing get any far. So we were kind and expressed empathy about his situation (as absurd and illegal as it was!) and ended up going from almost beaten to a pulp to out hard won deposit returned – by cash, not cheque – and a ride to the dodgy Greyhound station (a whole other mess…).
Also, thanks for scrapping me off the ground as i’ve worked to patch my life back together Trauben.