May I continue? By the way, I don’t do the feasting part of Thanksgiving these days but I like being thankful for stuff.
I am thankful for art and the artists who create and inspire me and others by dedicating themselves honestly to elevating above craft into making things for the future
I’m grateful for music, especially played by diligent up-and-coming bands who often become friends (I love being your fan), especially all the people over the years who said “dude you got to have my cassette and/or CD) I’ve captured and collected your efforts in a shoebox.
I’m grateful for the trains that still exist in the World to slowly rolled me to elsewhere and that the idea of travelling open oceans is in a state room in a freighter still exists.
I’m thankful for the 100 or so practicum students from all over the world I had the privilege of mentoring through many jobs, to help launch their dreams, careers, travelling, creation etc.– you “young folk” </ Old man voice> catch too much crap from crusty old bastards but I am 100% in belief that you will change the world for the better.
I am thankful for the few other people in the world who still send postal mail with thank you letters with interesting and heartfelt stories.
I am thankful I wasn’t too much of a jerk throughout my life or this healing journey would be super lonely. Along with this, I’m thankful I did all of those talks (mostly for free) to all sorts of groups (not just bigshot gigs) as I met so many lovely people who still send me messages despite perhaps barely meeting me in real life.
I’m grateful and thankful I visited my beloved old Volkswagen bus (hot boxed of course… It’s a sauna) and thankful that I documented and organized and stored so many artefacts from my previous life as they colour who I am today. Noteworthy especially is that killer stash of records unearth of late. Also, I have every letter any of you ever wrote to me, organized, sorted and stored.
I’m thankful for having folks and friends scattered all over the world who make my life more diverse, colourful and interesting — you give me sparks and dreams of adventures — virtual and/or meat space.
i’m super wanna be over with this disability in general, but especially done with the fucking paperwork that endlessly comes along.
PS I really hate it when I say anything about this publicly because I hate being a downer but, it’s truthfully not just the paperwork (of course) that’s just one other thing that piled on top of all the insomnia and muscle spasms and pain and confusion and brain fog.
Now that I’ve been prescription med free for over a year, I have more brain, but also more pain.
And in my somewhat bullshit “journey towards acceptance”, I’m trying not to be so coy and vague and take all this on myself. Truthfully it’s more than I can handle.
Just thanks to you each for listening and still caring about this broke down old dude.
I had a few super great days, the best I’ve had in sometime but then the inevitable crash happens and payback is a fucking bitch.
Is ones social media broadcast a script we write to tell the story of the life we want to believe we live?
Truth is that i totally do this. While i advocate radical transparency, my life became weird that past couple years and i use social channels differently. I share what i want my life to be (happiness and adventure) to help thwart the struggles.
Complaining or even talking about my situation (FM/ME, CFS, RLS, CSS…) is super boring to me, i post when i need to feel connected to the outside world by sharing happiness and exclamation points (!) … im not be obscure, i am using channels as a latent sorta support group to generate dopamine hits.