9AM Get out of bed Dave, get out of bed Dave, get out of bed Dave. You’ve got to go to the hospital Dave. Put on clothes Dave, take your medicine Dave, get on the bus Dave. Make sure you’re wearing pants Dave. Oh my goodness, have to decide what shoes to wear Dave.
Yep, just waiting for the bus as usual
10AM OK, I did it… Up, medicines, beard oil’d, snappy outfit-ish, shotgun coffee and out the door just in time and experienced all four of Japan’s seasons within the four minute walk from home to the bus stop.
Felt a little bit more springtime when I first looked out the window
{They taught me well at the school for “worlds worst secret agents”}
All of the seasons, all at once: Grey rainclouds, bright sunshine, crispy windiness all at the same time (on rather warm stuffy bus)
11AM Rocking to Belly (the band)’s “Dove” en route to Okayama University Hospital 岡山大学病院 / usual as only this & Bob Dylan’s basement bootleg are in the basc “music” app for past years (i have stashes in Bandcamp & Relisten)
Along with Belly, I’m a huge fan of Tanya Donelly’s solo EP series “Swan Song” and am partial to her songs in Throwing Muses
PS Also have signed #vinyl
11:30AM This is a “foursquare check-in” from Okayama University Hospital. I think I’m the mayor by now :)
Injections impending / 1st of 8ish checkpoints
12AM Update: nurses love my spring blossom vibe tie
{Many things happened}
My tactic with communicating with hospital doctors is taking a printed memo in both English & Japanese (i use machine assisted translation) as most doctors studied medical terminology in “English or whatever” and having something they can read rather than listen is a huge help
{in preparation, February 8, 2024}
2:45PM At least eight hospital checkpoints completed – both medical and administrative – Plus pharmacy (with all the QR codes and special booklets) and now my secret Kissaten was closed but reopened to serve me this glorious lunch with flowers on the table & 3 beverages.
Anyhow, today like a big boy I took the bus to the hospital by myself (usually darling wife drives me and hangs out) but now we’re getting into her busy work season and I need to do this on my own… After the injections, I’m spaced out so will retreat to a little café to regroup.
Next week, our little tiger starts at a new “forest preschool” run by the YMCA which will require me doing afternoon bus rides and then switching to the old timey tram/trolley.
I figured out a routine where we’ll do the switch waiting at the Uno bus terminal station which is a building that looks transported out of a Greyhound station in Chicago in 1963 with newspaper vending machines, cigarettes on offer, and rows of plastic seats but it’s a place to sit down and wait for the bus out of the weather
8:44AM / Wakey: Oh, “Dave is sending a little updates, it must mean it’s a Hospital day and he’s nervous/anxious” Yep 1 hour til bus, still in bed pajamas and coffee mode. Get up get up
I need this guy’s “eye of the tiger” ;)
9:55AM / Bus: Made the bus with perfect timing. Sitting in front ‘co-pilot’ seat to dig vistas along absurdly narrow roads the bus choogles down with nible dexterity & seasoned skill.
Have a transfer at dreaded station bus loop to another bus/company.
Charged up my pre-paid value card on the fly. (This is Hareca card, not be confused with the 383 other cards)
Brought kindly Dr gift packet of Post Coffee (of course i decorated gift bag with appropriate stamps) to go with stainless steel travel Bodum French press gifted last time. Includes 3 kinds of pre-ground coffees (helping her replace can kohi habit)
10:22 / Outfit: Blue Stetson-brand felt fedora, short sleeve shirt (handy for injections), shoulder bag from Kathmandu (note: give it some saddle soap, 7 years old already!), cheap & cheerful & (importantly) soft headphones, & yes Margaret, a mask.
Maybe inspired by a tip about wearing darker blues now in Sept, inexplicably put on a tie from Chiang Mai for today’s character study.
PS glasses still need adjusted. So tired.
Made my busswitch… sounds really basic as im a super transit rider in many countries but, our area has 3 different bus franchisees providing service in various areas, and all of the signs are only in Japanese characters (and shockingly) but a little opaque to slow-minded like me.
By far the best of the three is the one that comes out to our home (called Uno bus) with beautifully maintained vehicles, great Wi-Fi, power outlets, comfortable seats… This one is a little bit more “standard issue”
Re above: That meant to say “unshockingly” because of course it’s written in Japanese because this is Japan duh but still, having the ABC version (especially on the special green bus designed to do a tourist loop) would be a super easy quick useful addition.
K, at hospital. no snaps permitted (obv)
Snack in between the various check points, gotta not fade
yes a photo of a konbini snack to keep energy up for injections etc
3:55PM Good news is: survived the *multiple medical checkpoints* of the hospital, including all the checkout/billing/insurance desk + got 13+ prescriptions submitted including some new medications (muscle relax, migraine) and will be delivered by courier.
3:58PM / Liberal Cafe: Got late lunch & siphon coffee at “Liberal” where boss calls me Mr Friday & exchanges postcards / ¥1250 for daily set minus rice plus coffee – shared a book of paintings from Shikoku & Germany
When i arrived at Liberal café, the boss says “oh it’s Mr. Friday” and I felt like a regular.
I might do a super low-key art exhibit there too (postbox paintings) will totally let you know and we will do an “opening” even if it’s just two of us with siphon coffees.
4:00PM / Bus switch: Caught bus and at Okayama station, oh my goodness, there are foreign tourists, wearing shorts, talking loudly wearing, backwards baseball hats & eating ice cream. It’s all so strange! :) {no one comes to Okayama}
4:33PM / Home: Oh im home & in bed / thanks for hanging out with me on my journey… Helps the anxiety tell my story along the way
Bonus / Data: geeky medical imaging fun delivered by app
The data in these clumsy screenshots doesn’t necessarily need interpretation by we laypersons but just the fact that they “exist” is fascinating. Dozens of images, and all sorts of blood test results all of the Japanese is still beguiling and difficult to translate medical terms of course but still… The fact that it exists is very pleasing
Briefly: blood flow to my frontal cortex of brain is insufficient which impacts executive function (i get confused and non-verbal) and easy weakened but spinal fluid does not seem to be “leaking” although there is a clear impingement on cervical spine (i think result from car crash Jerome Idaho, 1988)
“The findings suggest patients in this sample are at a significantly increased risk of earlier all-cause (M = 55.9 years) and cardiovascular-related (M = 58.8 years) mortality, and they had a directionally lower mean age of death for suicide (M = 41.3 years and cancer (M =66.3 years) compared to the overall U.S. population [M = 73.5 (all-cause), 77.7 (cardiovascular), 47.4 (suicide), and 71.1 (cancer) years of age]…”
Oh, and: Importantly: The master of my little secret kissaten trimmed these three beauties off a tree to see me on my way / he said yuzu but look like sudachi… but I’m not all that smart about these matters. Regardless bound to be tangy.
[Fast forward] Sept 4: Today on “tidying up with daveo” comes a variety of tasks involving: figuring 日本語 characters to identify medications and then, a “Laverne and Shirley-esque” (or “I Love Lucy” if you’re older) series of manual tasks, scribbling letters, tearing packets & sorting into bins #mecfs
The tasks are way quicker and easier now as most of the medications are bundled into “morning, noon, evening, bed” packets by pharmacy & TCM are in numbered sachets // although there are always situational outliers and new meds to test out before putting into the routine #pwme
Pod and Book addendum
As usual, listening while washing dishes &!folding laundry / feel so many of your sentiments & malaise coming back. In my case, returned to a consortium of conundrum which really threw for a loop yet carrying on. But, came here to say "you are very welcome for the book" Enjoy! https://t.co/kKNEkxczwU
My least favourite topic to discuss is my health situation, yet, unsurprisingly, it’s what I’m *always talking* about because well, honestly, as much as I want to “out-think” and out-meditate and out-positive the illness, it’s a constant companion and dictates everything that I do – from scheduling to nutrition to ability to earn/acquire money, and related equivalents.
{Yes yes, I know the mind is powerful, I spend hours a day in various forms of meditation, increasing theta brain waves, positive affirmations, complete sensory silence, reprogramming neural plasticity – and all of it. Not to mention the retinue (constantly changing) of medications and supplements and other treatments (name it, i’ve done it).
Also, at least one friend – knowing well my previous acumen and enthusiasm for building community – has suggested my community building skills might be well used around this illness but, emotionally for starters, it’s an incredible toll. Ergo: just keeping oneself going (especially as I’m dealing with settling as an immigrant in a new country and with a young family…)
Anyway, all said, was it last year i published the multi-part “healing ramble” series? the one where gave the background intell on all the different treatments and protocols did during the missing years… (I should couch that by saying there are definitely many treatment types and situations which I very specifically did not share as they’re still too painful to articulate, a few sit in various draft forms in a folder, which may never get published) – regardless of when, there was almost 0 attention or awareness or feedback or input about the series – but maybe it was good for my mental health to put it out there(?) – as through all the journeys – fruitful and fruitless as they might be –I was journaling, diarying, documenting, etc., both about the treatment types and various hospitals/clinics, as well as the logistics of how managed to go places in the condition i deal with.
Addendum: the erstwhile “community” around this illness can be very sensitive and cantankerous, as people are really living on the edge of their own mortality and emotional state, and tend to turn on each other and nitpick about terms and diagnoses etcetera so I’m also very tender how about this aspect.
As usual, this is just a long way of saying, “I shared some stuff with open medicine foundation (an organization focussed on scientific research, rather than some of the other great organizations who focus on patient advocacy, government lobbying, awareness building, and group support), which came out while I was on the BC trip which coincided with the 10 year anniversary of the onset of this illness (May 2013) and, like most everything I say out into the world, had very little reaction or input or whatever but hey, I did it.”
Further, during the so-called “long-haul C 19” illness that’s become prevalent in {italics} these days {close italics}, awareness and research for ME/CFS has increased as the illnesses present in very similar manners. (No, I’m not going to get into the details here, that’s not my job).
So, below are a couple of exceptional articles by Ed Yong writing for The Atlantic (he left The Atlantic within hours of publishing the 2nd one shared below but remains an advocate of folks dealing with this umbrella of illnesses as he really spent the time getting to know the dilemmas folks face from being “gaslit” by the medical industry, ignored by governments, dismissed by employers, plus domestic / familial conundrums, and the crushing sense of defeat and precipice of depression and hopelessness that comes from this/these illness/es.
So, I come to you today finally rounding up these three pieces so I have one link to send to people to say “this is my illness, this is my story, this is some more stuff to say that this just isn’t me”.
[Note: the articles from the venerable “The Atlantic” below might be behind a pay wall, but generally allowed 2 free articles before shutting you down, and Mr. Yong has also kindly offered to send a complementary version of the article to anyone who requests by email, deets below.]
During OMF’s May Momentum campaign, we aim to raise awareness for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS).
Today, we share the story of Dave Olson, an OMF supporter in Japan. Dave’s experience highlights not only the challenges faced by those with ME/CFS, but also the resilience and strength of our community.
Hi, I’m Dave, and I’ve been living with ME/CFS for 10 years now. Before my diagnosis, I was an enthusiastic and active individual, working as the Vice President of an exciting social media-related company in Vancouver, Canada. I had a plethora of hobbies, from hockey to hiking to public speaking. However, my life took an unexpected turn when I suddenly fell ill in May 2013, leading to a decade-long journey with ME/CFS.
I went from feeling “a little bit sick” to having an out-of-body experience passed out on the floor. I thought maybe it was a gastrointestinal issue or stress from work, but I just didn’t get better.
I really realized something was wrong when my brain started to “check out” and I was getting lost and disoriented just blocks from my house despite being a world traveler. It turned out that I was ill with ME/CFS.
Now, ten years later – after hundreds of medical appointments, tracking down specialists and programs of every possible kind, I’ve lost everything from my career, to my support system, self-worth, and hobbies.
Despite all the loss I have suffered over the past decade, I’ve managed to rebuild my life in Japan with my wonderful wife and adorable 2-1/2-year-old son.
I recently started a specialized ME/CFS medical program at Okayama University research hospital, which has given me hope for a brighter future.
Throughout this journey, I’ve turned “optimizing the household” into my hobby, finding ways to streamline daily tasks while conserving my limited energy. I also enjoy creating and sharing art, writing postcards, and blogging about my experiences at daveostory.com.
Navigating life with ME/CFS in Japan has had its challenges. It took some time to find the right medical resources, but I’ve made significant progress with the attentive care of doctors at the Okayama University research hospital. While there is a growing recognition of ME/CFS in Japan, I hope that sharing my story will encourage more understanding and foster better communication.
Words of Wisdom: How to Find Creative Expression with ME/CFS
Blogging has played a significant role in my life with ME/CFS. I’ve been able to share my experiences, art, and insights through my blog, connecting with others and reminding myself that I’m still alive and relevant.
For example, in my spare time, I take great pleasure in writing postcards. This hobby not only fuels my creativity and hones my motor skills, but also provides “three waves of joy”. The first wave of happiness comes from the process of preparing and sending the card. The second surge follows when the recipient gets the card. The third thrill arrives when I receive a response!
An example of Dave’s postcard art
For anyone with ME/CFS who wants to pursue their passions through art or any form of personal expression, I suggest starting small. Instead of working on large canvases, murals, or novels, consider decorating postcards, writing poems (even haiku) or creating scrapbooks or collages.
When you’re resting, plan your creations so you can use your limited energy on the actual creative process rather than deciding what to make. Focus on projects that can be completed quickly, from beginning to end, and are easy to share by mail, remote exhibitions, or as gifts. I’ve published poems and submitted art to exhibits all from my bed and have given my art to medical practitioners to show my gratitude.
Additionally, consider learning a new skill that can be done easily on a table or lap, allowing you to connect with others.
A Note to the Newly Diagnosed
For those newly diagnosed with ME/CFS, be prepared to face challenges and losses, including friends, family, career, and even dreams. Despite it all, remember that no matter what, you are important and your perspective on the world is so valuable.
We are pioneers on a journey we didn’t choose. Take the advice of a counselor who deals with chronic and complex illnesses: “Go where the current takes you.“ If needed, find a counselor who understands your situation, as friends and family may not have the practical skills or emotional ability to provide adequate support.
Finding Hope in Open Medicine Foundation
Remember that there are also people who are working around the clock to help us and find a cure. I first heard about Open Medicine Foundation (OMF) during my search for a community that focused on scientific information, research, and practical solutions for ME/CFS. OMF’s transparent and thoughtful approach to fundraising and communication resonated with me, and I am grateful for their dedication to finding a cure for this debilitating condition.
As I reflect on my 10-year journey with ME/CFS, I’m filled with gratitude for the support I’ve received and hope for the future. To all the scientists, researchers, fundraisers, community organizers, patient advocates, and individuals who contribute to this cause, I raise a cup of Tulsi tea to you.
With fond regards from my cottage in Okayama, Japan,
????I wrote about what “fatigue” really means for people with long COVID and ME/CFS, and why this profoundly debilitating symptom is so often misunderstood and trivialized.
Sigh. Some of you seem to be able to read this during the 24-hr free period, & some are still bumping into the paywall.
Look, if anyone w/ long COVID or ME/CFS needs to read this and can't, email edyong210@gmail.com and I'll personally send you a copy. https://t.co/GoJIGbRh7L
Really fantastic & almost stunning to read this detailed riff about this medical conundrum #MECFS in such a credible & smart magazine. Hooray @TheAtlantic!
Consider reading if you are curious about what im dealing with (along with mannny others). https://t.co/Bmp3i2c6wI
*Everyone* I’ve spoken to in the ME/CFS community saw long COVID coming well before most of the scientists & medical professionals I know. That alone should prompt some serious reflection. The community has so much wisdom & knowledge to offer. 10/ https://t.co/TxURal8wCK
This piece looks at why ME/CFS has been so dismissed for so long, why it’s crucial for everyone to redress that legacy, and the people who are working their hardest to do so. I encourage everyone—healthcare workers, especially—to read it. 9/ https://t.co/TxURal8wCK
Aug 3: I’ve got a big long day at the hospital tomorrow, preparation for which is my priority.
So I’m going to fold some laundry and tidy up the writing desk.
Resisting desire to re-hang new art.
Did I tell you about our massive closet project yesterday?
Will find a long-winded yet loquacious esoteric historical rabbit hole podcast/video/audiobook (what’s the difference anymore?) to listen while I’m doing the above.
(Yes Margaret, I scribble when I’m anxious)
“to seriousness, as a miner who is always in danger makes haste in what he does”
V vG
Aug. 4: Terrible sleep, unbelievably anxious about today’s hospital visit even though I’ve done this literally hundreds of times before…
So, “pregaming” at my tiny calm cool coffee shop from which the master sent me a postcard (with transcription from his diary remarking on my first visit to his kissaten)
Machinery translation / dapper & injection
I keep whispering to myself (while at hospital checkpoint 2 of 5 or 6)
“you’ll be okay”
(I neeeeeed a long rest, however, i cant think about quite yet) but also, im #betterthanbefore
Always exciting to go to the “department of nuclear medicine”… Isn’t it? #BetterThanOppenheimer
Protip: for “tube tests” I now bring my own sleeping masks and earplugs and ensure them there is no metal included.
I have a whole arsenal of earplugs for different circumstances and situations but my “heavy artillery” are custom made by a hearing aid maker in Thailand and work their way down my ear canal and seal off the entire world when fully inserted.
Oh and I took my wonderful doctor a gift of a travel size Bodum French press – stainless steel with extra lid.
She’s incredibly busy and I always find canned coffee empties on her desk so trying to change that travesty.
Also, some bamboo charcoal and a shodo style letter.
Of course, I also have (at last count) 47 different sleeping masks in my continual search for the “perfect sleeping mask” / eventually, will sew my own but my fingers are much more geared for “big clumsy rough” projects right now
Postbox in the hospital / so many extra services available
Colossally long day at hospital. They’re incredibly efficient, organized and caring but my goodness, it’s a busy place and today had several different checkpoints including injections and scans in magical tubes.
My darlings came to pick me up fortunately, we are now home.
Thanks as always for my “fellow chronic and complex travelers” for chiming in with words of support and solidarity.
In my mind, summertime is especially hard for folks like us. #shrug
snaps not allowed at hospital but one of my pretty face is ok right?
I rolled into my “big day at the hospital” with the eyepatch and tracksuit like some kind of hip-hop pirate.
{The day after the ophthalmologist, which was a day after seitai which was a day after sending group for often to the wilds (i.e. harry potter universal studios, Lego land, all the cherry blossoms) in Japan with a pleasant sayonara (and the usual goat birth) followed by barbecue, goat milk cheesecake apparently there was some salad …}
no photos dave! sorry, really but its all so exciting being taken care of so well
Went to the University hospital and in one single visit did the: * proper consultation with the MECFS doctor (told her I am doing a profile poster boy for open medicine foundation this month to shine some light on their unique work) * got a list of all my current medications written in English on hospital letterhead to make it going through that Canadian customs somewhat easier, then… * the traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor (kampo) ho always examines my abdomen with great nuance and enthusiasm, as well as pulses and tongues – and he was quite excited about the increased strength of pulse and “general goodness” of abdomen * + same kind of letter from with the Chinese characters of the medications, English analogs, and all the necessary override forms for receiving 70 days of medication in one fell swoop * then off to injection… taking it now in a single push from a comically-large syringe rather than the drip drip drip. Basically neurotrophin plus vit B & C etc * then off to an MRI for my cervical spine…
{Have I told you the saga of the car accident in 1988 in Christmas Eve in Jerome Idaho? Yes for sure because this goes back to the India Ayurveda and the MRI there where the lumbar 3 and cervical 3 are out of whack…
Kindly Seitai doctor has worked on the lumbar for three years and finally got it moving and it’s been a cataclysmic change, pain reduced 87.8%, [and all the doctors over the years who have told me “all there’s nothing wrong with it” or “here’s some pain pills“ or you just need to do more sit ups“ can well… I’m trying to think of something clever but anyway] the lumbar is feeling better}
So there I go, changing into fantastic pajamas (which, unsurprisingly) I was very tempted to steal but I did not because I’m a responsible Japanese resident – naturally, brought my own earplugs and eye mask and into the MRI tube to check on cervical which causes my left shoulder blade to basically be “frozen“ with a constant stinging pain from the shoulder blade to the back of my skull… You know the usual stuff.
*Then time for a sandwich! Because of course the hospital has several embedded restaurants… We bypass the ubiquitous Starbucks and because restaurants are so overstimulating, acquired some sandwiches and found a little lounge on a bench in between… and I’m not kidding… a beautiful postbox and a lovely phone booth… Yes cherry blossoms are beautiful but put me between the postbox in a payphone and I’m happy
* While there, scanned the QR code for the various prescriptions (both allopathic and kanpo), off admin area to pay… The cost of the MRI, consultations and injections were fairly minimal but we had to pay extra for the special letters of the medications because that’s “not normal“ fine whatever.
Did I mention we scan a QR code and it goes right to the pharmacy and the elves get to work preparing it for us and then send a text message when it’s ready?
So in the interim, we saw a little narrow staircase with a sign saying “2F used books and beer” which seems like it was made for me… I purchased the three English books they had in stock: two were Tin Tin (Black Island and Blue Lotus) and a Chronicle Books’s published collection of vintage hotel luggage tags. Perfect!
I also bought ¥500 worth of Japanese 7 inch vinyl to take as gifts and a Italian made pink necktie for ¥300 to stuff in my backpack in case I have to look vaguely respectable at some point. I did not purchase a beer.
usual view of my shoes at hospital (its a series!)
Rocked Okayama Uni hospital visit with 4 check points (#mecfs specialist, TCM kampo, IV cocktail & admin tasks)
Thanked the doctors so much for what they’re doing for this weird illness and yes, there’s suddenly so much more research going on. The revolution continues for the missing millions.
+ saw sweet green kei-truck; ate ramen waiting for scrips; & spotted cute Indian/Nepali resto for next time
Came home, long hot bath, now in bed, much medicines to organize. I’m trying…
Bonus: the Ramen shop from the outside, kind of classic
Finding drafts and notes of diaries from hospital visits passed, in this case from a month ago (January 2023) with new traditional Chinese medicines and sorting out various concoctions and fishing tackle boxes.
There’s likely some additional details I meant to tell you, probably scribbled down in a notebook, possibly about the new medications at the time (I usually make a note about the new traditional Chinese medicines to share with my buddy Trevor), there was also some adjustments in “conventional“ medicines (some off label uses and medication‘s being tested in Japan but not elsewhere) I probably meant to share with other people dealing with #MECFS as well as nuanced adjustments in my vitamin/medicine injections (which I’m doing weekly at a little local neighborhood clinic).
For now, here are two snapshots as a placeholder to say “I went to the hospital on this day and I did these things, and I’m doing my best“.
Intro / Disclaimer (longer than actual notes): I hesitate to publish this flashback diary, not because I fear away from my notion of embracing translucency in personal archaeology, but rather because these are notes from the first couple of days and after sort of a disconnected start (keep in mind, I had just come out of several weeks of fairly solitary time at an Ayurveda hospital).
Anyhow my (I don’t know how to say it) my “community building instincts” kicked in and I made friends with some fun Italians who had a house and some herb, we did some slacker yoga, met a young Indian man studying sustainable architecture and connected him with the wider hemp as a building material community which has gone on to be fruitful relationships, met some wonderful wise elder ladies from Iceland and Switzerland, sort of fell into my rhythm.
Matrimandir thatta way
Plus, I learned logistics about “how to live there which basically is “if you can contribute something, you can make it happen”.
So this part of the story which sounds a little bit bleak and, in many ways is accurate though as in recent times (as a round this up in 2022,) there are emerging and ongoing controversies about how a place like this should be governed which brings in a lot of questions about privilege, colonialism, ecology, status of the land itself, the intentions of founders (and how much that matters and how is to be interpreted), which all brings tension between long timers, and newer inter-lopers, and the people around the international enclave who are just living and trying to make the best of their life in a larger country which still kind of figuring out who wants to be in the bigger world.
oh here is Matrimandir
So,… there’s this part of the story and then the part where I had to leave suddenly upon the passing of my mother and make a rapid trip to Utah, (talk about culture shock!), on the middle, there were some pleasantness which I’ll try to articulate along the way under separate cover.
In short, I found that there was a need for archivists, librarians, radio talkers, communications types and I suddenly saw how I might fit in and disappear there forever.
Of course I loaded up on artifacts, ephemera and items from the bookstore with the teachings of the founders and various dispatchers and missives about peace and community. (Some made it in to a scrapbook chronicling the heart-wrenching trip from India to Utah and beyond).
I’m saying this because there’s a lot more to say but in the meantime I was also dealing with the crisis of the withdrawal of Rs.1000 and Rs.5000 bank notes from circulation which resulted in empty bank machines, and no way to get cash (which was particularly amusing/ironic in this cashless society when one really needed cash to not use cash – but without a bank account well… folks were flying to Sri Lanka just to exchange money and come back which seems to defeat the whole point of an ecologically sustainable and equitable community!).
As fate (if that’s a thing) had it, things went differently, very differently, but this place remains in my head as I try to sort out the conundrum to address here on these first tentative days, but also in my heart simply for the fact that this kind of “unique/weirdness” exists.
I hope to return, or maybe not, I just hope something like this exists in some utopian form. Yep, one can dream right?
Added a few snapshots in here, others will go in a sort of “in between days” post” (pardon my notes to self).
So far, its much more intense than intentional. Can a community grow into a city without bureaucracy, boards, meetings, committees, resolutions, motions, applications, infighting, mandatory contributions and acronyms?
Seems perhaps not, or is it? It seems not. Or is it rule dependent? Or personality driven?
But strong leaders go rogue and sex and power corrode.
Frequent complaining, loud motorbikes, local workers and no hellos and/or Namastes.
so many cups to fill
I have tea in a stainless steel cup. Will food come to me as a notice my cane? I suspect not.
–
With respect to intention and effort, are you simply trading one framework for another with new names?
–
various shrines but not “religious”
The spirituality if any is in the background. “Love” is the word but not evident in action. No hugs, no warmth, not cold communication but hardly an emotional symbiotic place or perhaps not physically evident.
–
Now, one full day in… Awaiting dinner after fumbling through woods on a dark trail. Why am I so unsatisfied? All afternoon scrapbooking, letter/package making-is it that I don’t understand this place yet? The only people who come to talk are other new people or “tourists”.
restaurants are neither businesses nor not-businesses, cash is no cash but cash
I get that long timers make this community for themselves and not for passers-thru but, still… This is neither a spiritual holy land nor brilliantly efficient or revolutionary self-sufficient nor rock ‘n’ roll fun nor artsy-craftsy-though all those elements exist.
No “religion” per se but cult of work-that’s sort of OK-not warm but not clinical. No hugs still, no hellos or help all day long. So many complainers!
Even at the visitor center-everyone is on mobile’s-services spread out making wearing motorcycles and scooters necessary. Townhall was well, a Townhall. You change money for a card with Receipts and *sign here* for everything.
I buy and read all the books and I’m down with the charter and respect and work but somehow it feels oddly-indifferent to outsiders no doubt and unashamed to say-a shortage of houses but no quick prefab dwellings.
Old ideas are cool with local artisans but if a shortage is thwarting progress from only 2800-ish to a projected (and seemingly unreasonable 50,000) how well it scale?
I don’t care as I like small but masterplan seems dependent on a few “lions” and long timers. Sure it makes sense in a traditional conventional sense but it all seems so fragile and rather self-congratulatory while more or less like the old west of the myths of America – pioneer families incorporating a new town while carpet-baggers roll in often with new ideas and are branded “newcomers” even after a decade or so.
New arrivals who wish to settle are vetted after a year or longer. You have to contribute *something* of value (skills, building, biz…) which the community deems needed.
But the “community leadership” is nebulous and confused (from my vantage point). The newbs post bond in form of an air ticket home – your “home” isn’t here, it’s where you “come from” not like rainbow gatherings where the greeting is “welcome home” – maybe because of the outside political situation, hedging bets with a “punt play”.
The pain and guilt of socioeconomic class is palatable and unresolved.
Yet here I feel so alone despite surrounded by people for the first time in weeks. But no eye contact no warmth – to me at least.
Now I will eat and hope it’s just a bad day despite a walk to the visitor center, watching an introductory film, purchasing books with rupees for which change is difficult, chatting on blankets and towel, getting “non-cash” card, buying items to eat: pears and curd and cookies on bed while I listen to favorite music but all I think is “I am lost.”
Memo: What follows comes from my erstwhile “Healing Journal” – written/compiled on a foggy meandering journey to various countries (Pacifica, Phitsanulok, Cochin, Pokhara, Dikwella/Galle…) visiting all manner of hospitals, clinics and exploring various healing modalities and techniques.
Shared here more-or-less unedited for posterity (whatever that is) and to shed light to those struggling who might come across this riff. Please watch the “Healing Ramble Introduction” video for context on this series.
Memo: What follows is transcribed from my diary very shortly after my stay, more or less verbatim, at the risk of being redundant, i have previously shared:
Along my healing journey, I received treatment had the most wonderful Ayurveda Health Home in Pokhara, Nepal.
This company operates two facilities, one in Kathmandu and one in Pokhara where i did my treatment [update: subsequently built a 3rd clinic which looks like a wonderful mix of the 2 and maybe this one is no longer operating?].
The hospitals are part of a German-Nepal partnership. As such, the facility ran on a very prompt German-like schedule, but with exceptionally diligent Ayurvedic practitioners, including several full-time doctor/medical officers.
On the way to AHH
The chief amongst their practitioners is the world-famous Dr. Rishi [update: RIP] – a most elegant and graceful man who emanated healing energy and power. While he is primarily based at the Kathmandu facility, he flew to Pokhara for my intake for which I was very grateful.
Me with Dr Rishi on my “out-take” review in Kathmandu / bless his memory
He had thoroughly reviewed my medical file in advance (including notes from Dr. Veena’s Ayurveda and my tests in Phitsanulok), and the intake was several hours long starting with a long discussion about my symptoms, background and objectives, followed by a massage, then an *extremely thorough* physical inspection.
I should mention that I had originally intended to go back to India and Dr. Veena’s Ayurmantra but for some strange reason, my Indian Visa was declined creating a rapid change of travel plans which became *a little bit expensive* and complicated but I worked through it all by adding in a wander through Malaysia after more hospital tests and treatment in Thailand, OK carry-on…
The days were very busy, but very well organized. I would receive very complete instructions, hands-on, for each of the different treatments, which I would later self-administer.
These included various mouth cleanings, nose cleanings, eye cleanings, eye exercises, meditation, and so on. I also received a series of instructional sessions about the overarching concepts of Ayurveda – the history, background, purposes and information about doshas and the importance of the mind/spirit/body connection.
also Tulsi tea, water and various potions
I also participated on one-on-one yoga sessions. The yoga was very gentle and suited for my body and condition. Rather than complicated poses, started with very simple joint rotations and was very calm rather than stressful experience. (Note: it seems strange to call yoga “stressful“ but doing complicated poses and rapid movement is very difficult for me – as i found later at Peacock Ayurveda Garden).
I received dozens of different kinds of massage, with different oils, different techniques, sometimes two practitioners working on me at once, herbal poultices, salt poultices…
photographing my progress #peace and #mustache
I also went through an extensive series of enemas (don’t freak out)… some to cleanse and some to fortify. It was pretty intense to say the least but I was extremely well supported through the process, and my diet gradually build back up from thin rice porridge and herbal tea, to more substantial food, before I would rejoin the rest of the group for more standard meals.
A warm and welcoming table to convene with other patients
Memo: What follows comes from my erstwhile “Healing Journal” – written/compiled on a foggy meandering journey to various countries (Pacifica, Phitsanulok, Cochin, Pokhara, Dikwella/Galle…) visiting all manner of hospitals, clinics and exploring various healing modalities and techniques.
Shared here more-or-less unedited for posterity (whatever that is) and to shed light to those struggling who might come across this riff. Please watch the “Healing Ramble Introduction” video for context on this series.
Gist: Along my healing journey, I sought treatment at Peacock Ayurveda Clinic in Dikwella (map to Peacock), close to noteworthy Galle, in southern Sri Lanka. I stayed in-patient for three weeks for a complete “panchakarma“ program.
Background: Certainly, Ayurveda has a number of different flavours in terms of quality and type of the facilities… Ranging from “spa-like“ facilities catering primarily to relatively wealthy or western clientele, to very spartan and rustic, often government-run, facilities treating local people (see Dissanayake diary).
later, items in my scrapbook
Can be difficult to find the exact right fit mixing with medical needs but with comfort and safety enough to have a relatively enjoyable and stress-free period of time.
This is especially important because doing an extended panchakarma (five medicines) program as it can be rather intense. You are quite literally cleaned out inside and out, and your days are quite packed from early morning onwards with yoga, meditation, meals, doctor consultations, various massages, eye, ears, and nose cleaning, and some of the treatments, let’s just say can be rather “delicate“ or even rather embarrassing. Further, the effects of the treatment can be very intense and lay one out for a couple of days.
I researched a lot of different facilities around Sri Lanka and ended up on this one which seemed, from the outside, to be a good fit for me. While overall it was not near as fulfilling of an experience at my time in Ayurveda Health Home in Nepal or Dr Veena’s Ayurmantra in India, it was a learning experience.
“darling, i’am off to a rejuvenating Pachakarma treatment, see you in a two weeks”
Grounds / Facilities: Of the four different (at the time) Ayurveda facilities at which I received treatment, this one was definitely the most fancy and spa-like.
oh hi buddha
There was a pool (which frankly I was really never able to use but that’s cool), lounge chairs, beautifully manicured gardens with flowers in abundance, and overall the facility was very splendid, filled with interesting antiques, and the patient rooms were like a very nice hotel rooms, even with a private patio area for sitting and resting.
the grounds were immaculate and yes sometimes peacocks
Treatments / Schedule: The treatments were performed in a variety of traditional style huts, which were quite functional as well as charming. Each day, I was issued a fresh sarong and shirt and hat as the treatments are very oily. Additionally, I was given a basket of tiny disposable underwear to wear during the treatments.
treatment rooms and tables
Most days, I would have a short consultation with either the senior doctor (a gentleman who was very busy and often/mostly offsite) or a junior doctor (a young lady who was clearly still learning and mostly observing but very kindly).
Dave working on healing at Peacock Ayurveda near Galle, Sri Lanka (with Dr.)
An example of Dave’s postcard art 
